Pigeon

Hi, Pigeon here to review. The main thing this poem is suffering from is being all on one level. It ends in much the same place it starts, with know ...

Hi there Demora. This is a neat, simple idea for a poem and I enjoyed it. There are some parts of your formatting which could be better, though. The first ...

Pigeon here to review. :) I like bee analogy, and the inference that the drive to be cool makes us mindless drones, and your rhythm is wonderful. There are, however, ...

Pigeon here to review :) I enjoy what you've done with the repetition of lines here. It is clever and cute. However, don't get so caught up with structure that ...

Pigeon here to review :) alfredsymon has already given you some good advice about adding depth to your ideas and your language, so I'm just going to see if I ...

Hi, pigeon here to review :) The first thing I noticed in this poem is that there are occasional rhymes, but no rhyming structure. Your rhymes seem very forced and ...

This is wonderful! I really enjoyed it. Your imagery is fluid and beautiful and your ideas are clearly expressed so my critiques are mostly grammar related. There are unwanted times ...

I just have one or two suggestions for this. The action of the story sounds a lot like a six year old. e.g. “Hello?! I’m talking to you!” and I ...

Here to review as requested :) Grammatical corrections are in red. Other thoughts are in blue. Staring through a small circular glass window, Mark thought he had never seen a ...

omigosh I love this! In my chem class we had to act out oxygen gas by linking arms in pairs, so I guess this poem is a pretty natural place ...

Yay! You posted it! This isn't going to be much of a review, since you've heard most of my thoughts already, although I was a bit rushed before :p Most ...

Hi, Pigeon here to review. After reading this I have one main question: Do you intend to write the entire novel in the style that this prologue is written in? ...

I hope I gave enough clues as to what my poem is about. I think you did. It's about heaven, right? You get your ideas across pretty clearly and your ...

Then perhaps you should have put it in general fiction, not general articles? The problem is in article form - so research having happened, and a main argument being made, ...

Here are the things which stuck out to me reading this: Its resolute delicacy too good to touch, But too alluring not to touch – I didn't like the repetition ...