PenguinAttack

““We aren’t going to hurt you. And if you want to work, that can be arranges.” - Arranged. Hi Toy! Okay. I’m really liking the plot of this, but there ...

Hi there Harry! Welcome to YWS, I see we haven't met, so I give you my greeting and good hops for your continual stay here. ^^ The poem! This is ...

Hi there, As I've yet to meet you, I say welcome to YWS, your work will grow greatly here. ^^ I would like to mention, we have a two to ...

Hi Choco! So, I'm not fabulous at critiquing lyrics, mainly because I can't usually put them to music, so I don't know how they'd work that way. But! I could ...

“I bathed in the sea, the rippling surface settling almost to my waist.” - I’d just use “waist” here, scratch “almost” “ Dancing in circles was the wind, touching skin ...

"It's a freaking senryu" I'm not sure I like the flow of this. Is there perhaps anothing poem form you could make it be? XD even if she gets it ...

Squee! Awesome, as always, my dear Minx. Mrs. Crotchet is life! My life! The life! She's my mother with vulgarity, it's amazing! *sigh with contentment* Also. Lena makes my life. ...

“Turquoise waters shimmered beneath the sun, distorting the refraction of the coral reef below. A colony of buoys floated, bobbing up and down to the flow of the current. Spray ...

Hi there. ^^ Now, while I don't agree so much with Kenpachi Masamune (awesome name, by the way) I still think this is rather alienating to your responder. People want ...

“Waiting for yet another wave, To hit me and send me crashing, Straight back to square one.” I don’t think you need the commas here. I think it would work ...

Hi Click! Hokay. First off, "Later, I smile at the sight of rain; Oh, look at all the water you’ll gain! " I think the second line has too many ...

Toy! *licks* The lack of punctuation is a problem. I'm not yelling at you, per say, not really. See, the problem is that without the punctuation I lose the thread. ...

Hi, Sugar. I like this one, perhaps not as much as I do the others, but I still like it. I think you do so well with description, and realism. ...

Hi Zo! "Newsworthy" I like this. It’s sweet but sad, a lovely combination. I find that the repetition of “I” got to me slightly in the first three lines. I ...

"If God gave me the chance To turn the time around, I would do it for you." Ambiguous “the” time around. I'd like to know what time, you know? If ...