Morrigan

Hi there Meggs. Welcome to YWS! First of all, I'd like you to reformat this in a more poetic fashion. Try more lines. I'll give you an example by reformatting ...

Hi there, Sparkle. This is a cute idea. I like your rhythm, and your ideas. I also like how your ideas build up to the last line. You brag about ...

Hi there. What I find odd about this poem is that you have a rhyme scheme in the first stanza, as if you're going to set up the whole poem ...

Hi there, Hannah! As always, your imagery is lovely. like they haven't eaten or been drunken in days. "been drunken" I think that "been drunk" would scan better. You are ...

Hi there. Hey, this is pretty good. It leaves me with a certain wistful longing. It's a good effect poem. My tears are ashes in the wind I don't think ...

Hi there, pletta. Are you from the United States? That's the vibe I get from this poem. It's very familiar to me. Especially the part in italics. It tipped then ...

Hi there ikiru. While your desire is simple, and your words reflect that, it still needs some polishing. I suggest you add at least one central image to the poem. ...

Hi there. Wow, this is beautiful. I love how you connect the dancer with the river and keep the metaphor throughout. Lovely. Absolutely lovely. There should be a comma after ...

Hi there, indie. First, let me tell you that you have beautiful words. You put words together in ways that I could only hope to. It's lovely. I'm a little ...

Hi there, thirstyhand! I love the images you present. They're lovely. I think you can make many of them even better with more concise wording. Let's get started. A spell ...

Hi there, littlemonkeygirl. Welcome to YWS! It's great to see another new face around. Unrequited love is quite a subject. Lots of people can relate to it. Watch out, though. ...

Hi there. This is pretty solid. I don't see any awkwardness in it. There are some things I'd like to address, however. The whole first four stanzas of this poem ...

Hi there. This is a beautiful piece. I wasn't expecting it, and I'm quite impressed that you were able to create such a beautiful little story with so few paragraphs. ...

Hi there, drinkonthemoon. Wow. This is lovely. Every stanza has something that I really enjoy in it. I fell in love with Albania when I pictured you in it. I ...

Hi there, InfinityandBeyond. Welcome to YWS. It's nice to have you. What you've got here is a poem about Jesus. Good for you. It's nice to see someone talking about ...