MiriamHannah

The maid had called her that as she charged up the stairs. This doesn't make sense Wow, I really love it. Yes that chapter could not have been more of ...

i gnoring their deliberate quiet voices and sad looks. I'd put deliberately instead of deliberate in the wintertime. I would just put winter, or atleast seperate winter and time. “You ...

OK this is nice. Clever and nothing I'd have ever thought of. Niice twist. Still the collapsing thing before on the first chapter I'm starting to obsess over it so ...

It's good I'm enjoying it. The story is progressing well. I would try to add a little more detail, a little less action packed. In this chapter isabella and Gary ...

I agree with both of these reviews, the main character are very lovable and believable as people. A few little mistakes that you could catch quite easily by rereading. Also ...

OK, I'm not going to go through line by line because the only mistakes i found in that area were spelling and to be honest those are just easily fixed ...

coloring everything in warm colors, colours used twice. and tell if it was good enough to publish it under their name? 'Tell me' might work better, Just as I did ...

I grew harder for me to breathe I bet you can now see the problem with this line. It instead of I. Wow, aren’t I a psycho? Add italics to ...

Ok, well no grammatical mistakes that I found, no problems with content, no problems at all. However, somewhere in all of the spellchecks I think you lost a bit of ...

First thing to say, I don't have to grit my teeth to read this, it is absolutely thrilling and I love it. She started to walk away. The corn parted ...

She didn’t sound like the mean spirit I envisioned at all, more like a lost soul. I think this should be past tense, 'had envisioned' She looked back up at ...

Best chapter yet! Especially it ends so well, the last line so descriptive. Again, a few grammatical errors, read it through and you'll find them, but I think the people ...

Again I can find one or two tense issues, but that just takes proof reading to avoid. Apart from that can I just say woah. My heart was beating so ...

OK, a few issues with tenses in this one but other than that it was really good. I love how you've taken this whole supernatural thing, these dreams and put ...

*Warning: It is rated pg-13 because once again the charcater Gary has a dream about Isabella* Chapter four Then he plopped down on the bed and shut his eyes. I'm ...