The novel- ch.3

Heya people! Please, please, please, comment, I really need the help!!! Thank you so much, MiriamHannah, you helped a lot with this!! Sorry it's so long guys, I just got over excited *blushing* well, here we go!

chapter 3- nothing real

The sound of the alarm clock was annoying. It rang again and again and again, shrill, demanding my attention. I felt like kicking it, but I knew that Kelly wouldn't like that. Coming to think of it, I didn't remember Kelly having an alarm clock. And her sofa turned a whole lot more comfortable too- the smell of dust was gone. Did I move to her bed or something?

"Honey, wake up," Jared called me, his gentle, warm hands on my shoulders. It was his voice, I was sure, and those were his hands, the hands I would know anywhere. I felt all my resolve fade away and crumble as I jumped in my bed.

"Jared?" my eyes were wide with disbelief.

"Sweetie, it looked like you were having a nightmare," his bright green eyes looked worried and concerned, and his hands pulled me into a hug. "You were crying,"

The tears fought their way down now too as I contemplated the word nightmare. It could describe what I've been through perfectly. Perfectly if it weren't for Jessie. Did I really just imagine him? But trivial questions were pushed away as I hugged Jared and he hugged me back, and I could feel his warmth and be with him again.

"I was so scared," I cried into his chest. His grip tightened on my frame unconsciously.

"Tell me what it was about," his voice was desperate, "tell me, Sweetie."

My breath was uneven, but I forced the tears sobs to stop, then I calmed down enough to stop the tears too. It was just a dream, I thought in relief, just a dream. I pulled away to look at his eyes.

The dim light of the sun breaking through my thin, caramel colored curtains set a nice, cozy atmosphere. It helped me build up the courage. I took a big breath before I managed to ask him,, because I had to ask him. Dream or no dream, this was a long time coming, and I needed to know. Facing my deepest fear wasn't something I did every day.

"Jared, have you been seeing April?"

His green eyes turned unbelieving, and his eyebrows pulled down. He looked angry. I swallowed.

"Merry, you know I haven't. You know I love you and only you." He didn't even state it as a question. Of course I knew.

I looked down at my bed covers as I spoke. "But you guys were so close… and…"

He picked up my chin with one gentle hand, shaking his head angrily.

"I don't know how to phrase this, Merry, but honestly, I would never leave you, never hurt you like that, you must know that. Can't you see that I would never?" his voice was feverish and intent, almost hurt, his green eyes almost pleading behind all the anger. I could see that he meant it.

I swung my arms around his neck, the tears breaking through again. "I've missed you!" I said through my tears. The relief that flooded through me now was unfathomable.

Jared hugged me back. "Silly." Was all he said. His black hair was messy like he'd just woken up; I didn't even want to think about what I looked like. I jumped to my feet. "I'm going to take a shower, then go to Emily's, then go to class."

Jared smiled as I recited my schedule. "I am going to get ready too, then go to college, because unlike you, I picked the morning classes," he turned teasing. "Then we are going to have dinner together, after the oh so long day that we hadn't seen each other." He smiled at me, one of his near perfect smiles. "How's that sounding?"

I couldn't help it, even though I probably looked like a mess, and had morning breath, I jumped back on my bed and kissed him. He kissed me back, so it must not have been as bad as I imagined.

"I'll see you tonight," I said, making sure.

Jared laughed, and my stomach filled with butterflies, just like the first day I saw him, and these butterflies were better than the dream – they were real.

"Have a nice day," he yawned and smiled broadly before slumping back on my bed, eyes closing immediately. I haven't even noticed the purple circles under his eyes until then. I kissed his forehead. "I'll be back to wake you up in fifteen minutes. Sleep until then."

"M'kay" he managed to mumble.

He was working so hard, that thought pinched my heart slightly, like an actual pain. I shook it off. I had a feeling that dream was meant to happen, to help me appreciate everything. Especially Jared.

I hopped off the bed again and went to get ready for another normal day. Everything is going to return to normal, I promised myself. Everything was going to be normal again.

Or so I thought.

***

"You're trying to sabotage it." Kelly's tone was final, as if she was stating a fact.

"Am not," I sniffed.

Kelly didn't buy it. Her long brown hair, straight and beautiful, slid off her shoulders as she shook her head at my words. Her gentle blue green eyes were judgmental as they appraised me.

"You're freaking out because you love him!" she accused loudly.

I kicked her under the table. "The customers might be listening!" I hissed at her, my eyes searching the room for any eavesdroppers. I found only one.

No, this couldn't be. Not possible, my brain concluded. Yet somehow it was true.

"Oh, no… you've got to be kidding me," I whispered in horror under my breath. My bad luck hadn't ended yet.

Jessie stood, awkward and embarrassed, next to the counter, his honey-hazel eyes confused and his lips curved into a small, apologetic smile. His brown-blond hair, almost like gold, slid across his neck.

"Um, you were looking for new bartenders, right?" he asked in the same cheerful, soothing voice I recognized.

My heart thumped unevenly in my chest. Vaguely, I realized something was wrong. After a minute I grasped the fact I stopped breathing. I forced myself to take in a deep breath.

Damn it, this just didn't happen to people! Last night was just a dream. It was a dream, for heavens sake. The sudden dizziness that had my head spinning had nothing to do with lack of air. It was a dream, wasn't it? I've never been parted with Jared, right? I've never met this person, I've never… I've never grown to like him, right? I felt sick that I didn't know the answer to those questions.

I grasped the counter in both hands to stabilize myself.

"Em, are you alright?" Jessie asked, concern coloring his voice.

He knew my name.

Sorry, my brain squeaked. I can't handle this.

"Kelly?" my head was spinning, everything turned blurry.

A pair of firm hands sat me down. My stomach turned at the touch – I recognized it, it was too natural, too perfectly set against my shoulders, just like in the dream. "Kelly…" I groaned, closing my eyes. Something wet and cold had me opening them again.

I heard indistinct words, unclear, fading in and out. "Give me another towel… I think she's going to pass out…"

I felt my cheeks blaze without their usual force. This was even more embarrassing than crying. I thanked heaven that this was a slow day.

My eyelids slid shut again. This was just too stupid. Why was I fainting over something like this? Was it just this? Coming to think about it, I didn't feel so good last night either- or was that in the dream?

Everything seemed duller, like I was falling asleep. Fight it, I instructed myself.

I made my eyes open, the action being harder than it should be. "I'm fine," I moaned.

Jessie's worried eyes were the first thing I saw. They were too bright, too close to mine. Butterflies raced down my stomach again, and I was forced to close my eyes once more, feeling fainter than ever. Why did he have that affect on me?

I took a deep breath, trying to gather the strength to open my eyes. I couldn't take another one, only shallow breaths. My hands felt numb.

"I think she fainted!" Kelly's voice was in near hysteria. I almost gritted my teeth. Damn it, then why don't you call an ambulance or something? I wanted to yell, but I couldn't move my mouth. I was starting to panic myself. What if I never woke up from this? What if something really was wrong?

My air supply cut off, the short breaths not coming at all. Damn it, I swore internally, god just wasn't going to cut me any slack today.

And then I was breathing again, the air flowed almost painfully down my throat; I welcomed that pain, welcomed the air that now filled my lungs unexplainably. Warm lips against mine let me know what was happening. Someone was giving me mouth to mouth. Everything turned a little clearer.

I breathed on my own now, and the lips pulled away. "I think she's fine now," Jessie's voice said. Was it a little breathless?

I opened my eyes. Kelly's blue green eyes were filled with tears, and black drops colored her cheeks. Beside her, Jessie's relieved eyes met mine – I looked away quickly – and next to him stood two different people, bystanders. One of them was looking at Kelly with concern.

I rose from sitting position slowly. My breathing was fine now, and the room was stable and firm.

"C'mon," Jessie said, helping me up with a slippery hand. He must have been more nervous than I thought. "I'm driving you to the hospital."

I tried to object, but Kelly cut through my words. "Oh, will you, Jessie? That would be so helpful! I can't leave the place, and I have to call everybody." Kelly was already planning ahead.

My left leg hurt. I gritted my teeth against the pain. "No, Kelly, you really don't."

Kelly ignored me. "Just please get her there safely," she begged.

Jessie nodded. "Of course, boss, don't worry. She's safe with me," he said solemnly.

"I'M RIGHT HERE!" I yelled. It made my head hurt, but I couldn't care just yet.

"Damn it!" I shook off Jessie's hand. He let it drop against his side. "I'm fine!" I was more than fine. I was furious. "Damn it!" I swore again, the pain in my head and leg more pronounced. "You don't need to take care of me," my tone was more reasonable now.

Kelly and Jessie just looked skeptical.

***

A thirty minutes drive with Jessie – just what I need, I thought sourly as the car hummed to life. I recognized that car all too well, but my head was fine now. No more dizziness. "Sorry about not letting you drive," Jessie said cheerfully, unaffected by my sulky mood. "It's just that I don't think you're capable of it right now."

"Not capable of it!" I scoffed. "I'm a better driver than you any day of the week!"

"Oh yeah, how do you know?" Jessie's mouth was pulled up in a beautiful smile, and his tone was teasing.

"How do you know that I like to drive?" I snapped back.

That shut him up.

I buried my head in my hands. What was I getting into? I wondered. But I didn't know this was only the start of a much, much more complicated future. As the car sped away into the road I thought about my bad luck. Was it really that bad? Yes, I answered to myself. It really is.

I didn't know the half of it.