Meta-Messiah

I would change it to "liver's" but seeing as how it is neither, the abbreviated or the "rot" that belongs to the liver i dont feel that it is necessary. ...

I know to walk a dance seems contradictory, but i guess i was trying to portray a kind of lurching broken elegance. Obviously not to much avail, cheers for pointing ...

Thanks for that, it's been so long since I wrote with any kind of discipline that I really need kicking into shape.

The story is basically two halfs to the same, well story i guess, the main character sleeps during the day and when he does he dreams of "her" and recalls ...

Thank you all for the great feedback, Consider that apostrophe inserted. :-)

Cheers for the advice, grammar isn't my strongest point, partially due to me doing english lit without english language so there is no real focus on how you write, more ...

Hahaha i started reading this without realising what it is, shows my observation skills, i was kinda freaked out when i realised i hadn't breathed for a while and that ...

Buses are one of the best places i know for inspiration. I like this and i know the feeling(as much as one can know anothers feelings) well. I felt that ...

haha I thought this was really good, original subject, enjoyable to read and yet moving. Hmm if you cant remember writing it maybe your a sleep poet, rising from your ...

I really like this, the structure flows well, and the satire is subtle while still coming across very strongly (hmm is that an oxymoron), i've gotta say man from what ...

Cheers Brian, haven't edited it online yet but it seems to flow a bit better now.

Lots of interesting images but there it does seem to lack a real sense of connection, that it is all part of the same poem, rather than a stream of ...

The increased rate of the rhyming was intentional to represent the actual scene, whether or not it worked is up to you guys though

Thats kinda what i thought, i had this beautiful image but i couldn't concentrate on it or truly get it down. I shall get my pen out and try and ...

L'Etranger doesn't translate as stranger, its meaning is closer to someone being strange rather than being an actual stranger which implies someone we don't know, outsider implies someone not within ...