McMourning

Hello! He had been trooting with Moon Streak on feild . However , he had been leading an army of an elfs worst night mare . There were creatures who ...

Hello! I enjoyed the present tense; it fits the scene better than a flashback would. The scene works alone, and probably could develop into a short story. Readers wouldn't need ...

Hello! It almost seemed like I was there in the room, standing at the foot of Charlie's bed. I was mad when the nurse cam to kick us out of ...

Hello! It was not at all too wordy! Words are great when describing a scene or setting the mood of the story. However, I am confused about the connection between ...

Hello! It was nicely written, although, the title isn't really explained. Perhaps you could have more on the fact that a mimeograph reproduces these dark words. men of world tongues, ...

Hello! I don't mean to be rude, but this piece needs an overhaul. That's all right, though. I didn’t answer but I just got up and walked towards my room. ...

sounded professionally done. Honestly, I have read published poems like that. So, congrats! Her letting go was not a chore, But letting go required more. Now, this is just me ...

Hello! It's a nice poem; just what I was thinking about earlier today. :) But, I'm the type of person who picks up on punctuation mistakes. There should be a ...

There is already a thread for this . In the beginning, it was just about the Uglies , but has branched to include the entire series.

Hello! I'm sorry, but I didn't really enjoy it. It didn't seem to flow right, for one. The best way to test this is to read it out-loud, at a ...

Wow! That took my breath away--it was an amazing poem. You've obviously got talent. til one we are It's till not til. Or, you could use 'til, which is short ...

Hello! It's an interesting story, but there are a few mistakes. The hallway was deserted. A very unusual occurrence for a hotel. This should all be one sentence, with two ...

Uglies was undoubtedly the best in the series, but I think it would have done a lot better if Tally hadn't been made pretty and stayed in the Smoke. That's ...

Hello, again! I was looking forward to read this story, when you first proposed the idea of the Watchers. And, I'm glad I read it today. My first few years ...

Hello! I absolutely adored that! (Which is the highest compliment I believe I have ever given out.) This piece truly could be published, but you'd have to find just the ...