Upon A Kiss

I was watching a t.v show and someone said "would you take my breath,
if upon a kiss' and this is what I made out of it
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Would you take my hand
if I let you lead,
out to a field
of clover,
where ravens fly
to gift the sky ~
the dance of
wing-ed lovers.

Would you take my breath
if upon a kiss,
these words of truth
were spoken;
an ancient tale
of fair thee well,
and promise left
unbroken.

Would you take my soul
with warmest touch,
without remorse
or sorrow,
til one we are
within the light ~
a memory of
tomorrow.

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McMourning
Review

Wow! That took my breath away--it was an amazing poem. You've obviously got talent.

Book_Worm_113 wrote: til one we are


It's till not til. Or, you could use 'til, which is short for until.

I'm sorry that I couldn't help you more!

McMourning



Nobody wants to see the village of the happy people.
— Lew Hunter