Mattie

The tile reminded me of a tattoo parlor. :) This was good. You really get different ideas about what it means to everyone and I like that. It flowed very ...

Besides the fact that there's not sex in it which I like that there isn't, it was very well written. Your character did seem to think he was above everyone ...

This was a very long post to read. I did like it though. You kept detail in the story throught the whole thing and your character developed nicely. Every paragraph ...

Not the best line: the opening The best line: the ending :) I thought this was good. As for not wanting crits, honey, you're going to get them! That's what ...

This was good FS. It seemed like it was based on a rainy day since there were puddles. I could be wrong...? Anways, I seem to like all the things ...

This was okay. It kind of moved too fast, and I felt like you weren't telling the readers all they needed to know. There were some grammer mistakes such as ...

Let me fix the errors for you: My question was soon answered when I stepped into (the) classroom(.) Near the front sat Jonathon. What was (even more terrible was that) ...

This was quite good for just starting off writing. I know I never sounded like that, what you wrote was something I wished I could write when I was younger. ...

It's a very interesting start for a story. It sounds like a summary more than anything though, not saying it's not good but you really need to expand on your ...

I really like the titles you come up with! They really catch my eye which is what you need when writing a book and coming up with one to make ...

I agree with everyone else and their crit. I did like this but it need improvment. I really liked the first few lines: Locked away in the towers of safety ...

The title really caught my eye...something some crazy person would admit. :) We all have weird dreams...especailly myself. LOL This was good, a good story for something that should be ...

It was a little confusing...and you rushed things like you were ready for the story to be over already. I got really confused with this part: “Good day, Jonathon, Susannah. ...

I liked this CL...I think I also have an idea you could use it may be a little bit too over used though. Anyways, my idea would be if you ...

Someone read it for once! :) LOL I think you did a great job although I haven't read any of the other chapters. Maybe later...for now I'm just crit, or ...