Matthews

This is awesome! I agree that some of the rhyming seemed forced, but overall, it was funny and true :) Very enjoyable read.

Wow, this was so...readable! I really liked it. It was awesome! There was one thing I didn't like but now I can't remember what it is! lol...guess it mustn't have ...

Thanks for the comments. tuckerluvr, I DID describe, actually. Big, black stallion are used. I wrote sleek stallion PRANCING in his stall....I guess you mustn't have caught that. Anyway, I ...

I like some parts of the first version better, and some parts of the second. Overall, I think they're both pretty cool.

I like it, but I think you should make it more vivid...idk, you can tell what you're feeling, but it doesn't seem strong.

I LOVE this! You are SO awesome! It's so...fun to read. :P Keep it up, I'd love to read more of your poems.

Actually, one other thing: When the two bad guys were arguing, it was hard to make out who was who. And when the kids distracted them, again, I got confused ...

I kinda like it...but I agree, that the reader feels little emotion concerning what you're describing. I think you should make more of a point about what you're feelings are.

I like it, but what I really wanted to comment on was your awesome avatar! :) Gotta love Jack Sparrow!

I like it, though I'm not sure how it'll sound as an actual song, ya know? Sounds like it might be better as a poem or something; shorter, but with ...

Well, I haven't sung this so I'm not sure how it'll actually sound. I have to write the music for it next...big job! These are the first song lyrics I've ...

Wow, intense story! I like it! The ending totally confused me, so maybe elaborate a bit more...

This is gonna give me NIGHTMARES!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Demented, and TOTALLY creepy! How did you even manage to think up something like this?

I thought it was VERY well written, but I don't like all the swearing. I can see you want to express who "Ross" really is, but I feel it's unnecessary ...

Haha I love it!!! Totally awesome! Maybe at the end instead of "This love is not to be" change to "This love may never be" "May" gives it it's not ...