MadHatter

Like all of your Break Neck stories Jake, you lacked sensory details. You also need to lenghthen your piece for a full effect. I hope you still continue this piece, ...

I agree with you Kal. Jake's piece had a good topic but sucked punctuation wise and in reality. Why would these people do such stupid things and why haven't the ...

I liked your story but it was a really weak ending. I really disliked how you said " 4-6 months later". What the heck does that mean? Wouldn't you know ...

If I had only knew it was you Kal. I hope to see you write some more

I'm glad you re-wrote your story. It was much better this time, even though you really only moved some stuff around. You answered a lot of our questions. Good going ...

Jake, you should really stop trying to act all professional. But I guess what you had to say was good. But stop dropping hints on what's to come next...

I like your story but you had a very boring interlude. Find a way to spice it up.

Yeah, I agree with Griff. It's a really short time frame you've set this in (And no Jake, I'm not just criticizing this because I know you in RW). You ...

I liked your story and I intend to continue reading your story. This one was much better than the other one but still wasn't sci-fi. You really need to move ...

I liked your story but you mispelled several words. You failed to uppercase several i's. Overrall this was a well written piece but it definetly needed some work. And why ...

Yeah, I'll be following this one. I really enjoyed your last one even though it was short. You might want to explain why he said "Clone number one." That was ...

Your story's got potential but you needed to give some more details to make the begining more inticing. You could have delved a bit deeper into his childhood, or even ...

Your piece was interesting and did a good job of introducing your storyline, but I felt it lacked enough meat. You should have had more story because It's hard to ...

I liked the story, though it was a bit over descriptive in some parts. I was hoping you would go a little bit deeper into her slave life but otherswise ...

Your poem showed some emotions but was more written like an event than a love poem. Hopefully she likes it and if she doesn't...well at least you tried.