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Sorry about that - I wasn't sure about the spelling so I just copied it from one of the previous posts.

I haven't read the pretties/uglies/specials, but I rather liked Scott Westerfeld from his midnighters series. Anyone read that? I think I'll go out an try and find these books since ...

And yes I must agree Amelia :) But random is good!

Thank you all for your feedback, I'll rewrite the piece using your suggestions. I'll probably repost it once I am done. That may not be for awhile though. Thank you ...

I used to really like Redwall a few years ago, but the storylines all get so repetitive. It's always good overcoming evil and it became kind of sickening after the ...

why dont you just let me fill my cup i need to hang my brain up tonight.. Okay I can see the connection here now that you point it out, ...

Thanks for clearing up the metaphor Cloud_Stepping, I can see it now. I think that the reason I don't see your metaphors straight away is because your metaphors are something ...

Thanks all, I've edited the original with your suggestions. Does the rhythm flow better now? I fixed up that last line and the "a high" to "on high". On the ...

Thank you all for your criticisms. I'm don't really care for "On the road by the swampy toads." To me, it seems like you just added the swampy toad part ...

Ahh sorry that was me misreading it.

Thank you all very much for your criticism. All I can really say is that I thought the story up as more of a description than a real story, but ...

Heya Goldie, now that it's the weekend I have some more time on my hands so here is part of Chapter 3. Dorren was riding a horse, DarkMorn a young, ...

Thanks to you both for the suggestions, this was something I came up with and then just posted without any thought to making the rhythm more even and so on. ...

Whoa, thats pretty amazing, it's like some piece of epic poetry. If thats just the prologue I cant wait to see the first chapter.

Thanks for taking the time to read through it Goldie and I think I'll take all your suggestions to heart. I focus more on visual description than any of the ...