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Re: The Fires Of My Fury
Considering that you are attempting to write upon a very written topic you really need to spend a greater amount of time considering the various pitfalls associated with those topics, ...
May 15, 2008 -
Re: Anthem Of The Broken Youth
Title influenced by Wilfred Owen's Anthem for Doomed Youth? I agree with TimJim77, the capitals are annoying. First off I find the repetition of the same ending ("ight", "art" and ...
May 15, 2008 -
Re: "Holding on"
I understand you may feel this way but as a poem this wasn't very original at all. The imagery was weak - the strongest description probably was "crumbling down" or ...
May 14, 2008 -
Re: When Last I Saw the Fisher
I quite liked it. The narrative moved forward rhythmically, everything was nicely phrased and had a good ring to it. The boatman, star and the voice are difficult to understand. ...
May 14, 2008 -
Re: They Come and They Go.
I didn't like this too much. Your topic, love thats not meant to be, leaves a whole mass of potential descriptions or methods for presenting it but the descriptions in ...
May 14, 2008 -
Re: Ms. Apt Diagnosis
Let’s lie in fields of feline flowers 9 where the blades pierce and the whiskers tickle— 10 ........There, can you be free? 5 where the air is too black to ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Steve the Goldfish
The way that you have punctuated the piece is effective. Taking your first stanza: Praise fish tanks, giving a nice visual way of forgetting him, (also praised) dying in the ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Dawn and Dusk
I'm caught in two minds. The rhyme and rhythm are interesting and quite clever. In the first stanza: It glares into the corn ers , 7 thrusting their contents into ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: Sour
his days are numbered in the crash-course direction tracked down and censored through the beaten screen he's found no solace in displays of affection his quality learnings are bound to ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: Untitled
Simple yet with a hidden meaning. I can't really comment or make any criticisms it's too short to do that. All I can say is that it's very similar to ...
Jun 4, 2007 -
Re: September the 6th, 2001
Definitely was original and very easy to read - once I got into the main body of the story. Your beginning is overly descriptive and that really chokes up some ...
Jun 3, 2007 -
Re: carbon mimeograph
It's nicely written, it really does create a dark feeling and dark imagery. In the first stanza you have a really good rhythm - I'm not sure if it is ...
Jun 2, 2007 -
Re: A Disused Shed in Co. Wexford
Wow that is really good... But did you actually write it? Because I found the exact same poem by Derek Mahon, called the exact same thing, A disused Shed in ...
Jun 1, 2007 -
Re: [deleted]
Hey Amelia, I like the concept and the well overall content of your poem but at times it doesn't quite sound like poetry, it's a bit simple. More recounting than ...
Jun 1, 2007 -
Re: Villanelle: Passion
I like the generally flow of the poem, I think that you've done well with the rhyme structure of the villanelle. The line "Oh Love, my Lord, be brave." doesn't ...
May 30, 2007
