Litehawk

Pen and paper camera and film references my wishes to be able to record everything she and I said and did, to look back.. For signs that my feelings might ...

This had absolutely nothing to do with chaos theory at all. Which disappointed me, such a misleading title.

Your syllable counts are really off, you have a lot of flow problems. Poetry isn't just throwing a jumble of words together and rhyming, you gotta make it sound good

Rhyming seems forced, choppy on some parts, you lose your formality sometimes. You should spend some quality time reading this out loud

A bigger impact was needed prior to this

I've written 100 poems. Not all of them are here. I just wanted to convey the power. Hint: ask yourself, why did he say that? Was he giving up because ...

Thanks guys, it's just been so hard to write lately, I don't know why.

Inspiration

I agree with sunshine, eleanor you can't really know what the author is feeling, maybe the line breaks are symbolic and a way to convey the emotion. The problem with ...

Nice ironic twist, reminds me a of a line from the song In Thee: "Airplanes make strangers of us all, they give us distance much too easily" The flow is ...

Wow, after all these reviews you've still yet to edit it =/

Rhyming was forced and rythm was a bit off.. Some of your forced rhyming caused the poem to also lose sensibility

Here's a hint. Look at the last line, that's the riddle

Did you solve the riddle within the poem?

Damn dude you got a nice flow and rythm there, and some awesome imagery. I give it a gold star