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Lil_Pau

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: You aren't Pretty

    Hey KnightlyAngel09! This poem was great, especially your use of adjectives and wording. I like the rhyming scheme too - it fits the poem. There are some phrases such as ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Sonnet: Seas of Iron, Skies of Soot

    Hey there! I absolutely love the imagery here - while reading your poem, I could just imagine the scene of the cathedral, the forest... nice job! =) Only one thing: ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Fallen

    Hey there! Welcome to YWS! =) It's been a long time since I had reviewed or posted anything on YWS, so let's get started with the review, shall we? ;) ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: My Friends

    Hi there! I thought that this piece was OK. It wasn't too bad - I like the mysterious tone of the story. However, at the same time, it sounded a ...

    Nov 3, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: .:Broken Butterfly:.

    Hi there! Actually, this poem was quite good. I liked the fact that you used a butterfly as a metaphor. The only problems I had were: 1) Punctuation - Although ...

    Nov 3, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: i wish

    Hey there, welcome to YWS :) Let me remind you that before posting a piece of work, you must post at least 2 reviews. Anyway, back to the poem. To ...

    Nov 3, 2009
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Darren Shan Saga

    I like the Demonata series. Most of Darren Shan's books are simple in writing, but they're entertaining. He's great at those descriptions of gore too xD. - You said this ...

    Nov 2, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: This Old World of Ours...

    Wow. This is a strong subject to write about, and I'm glad you did it, because like angel23 mentioned, it's a common topic yet complex to express out. I like ...

    Oct 22, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Struggle

    Sorry, azzman, but I think I have to agree with smorgishborg and Snoink. The whole poem seems like words thrown together into one big mound. Yes, we have the words ...

    Oct 2, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Tender Mourning

    Hiya there! I thought that this poem had some lovely imagery - for example, the first three stanzas. However, I thought that the ending was a bit too abrupt - ...

    Oct 2, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Wires

    Hi there! Welcome to YWS! Now, to the story... I personally thought it was just OK. I hope I'm not offending was not too bad and not too good. The ...

    Sep 14, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: On music

    Hi there! This was not bad, but as Rosey mentioned, I didn't like the repetition of 'fear not.' Nitpicks: Fear not the dangers of the world, They cannot fight against ...

    Sep 14, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Beautiful Soul

    Hey there! I thought this poem had a really nice concept. However, I didn't like some parts, and I'll emphasize it here - A beautiful soul , loving and giving ...

    Sep 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: When I'm 25

    I like this. It's simple but has a whimsical-like manner to it. I'd like to do nitpicks, but since lilymoore has done 'em, I'll just point out one thing: When ...

    Sep 12, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: I Stand Up

    Nice job! It was short and simple, but straight to the point. It really shows how much you want to protect that particular person. I cannot find any errors as ...

    Sep 10, 2009


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.
— Mark Twain