Lil_Pau

Hey there! What a lovely poem. I'm sure your girlfriend will like it. :D Nitpicks: The damsil with blonde hair. Shouldn't it be 'damsel?' Years go by and her serene ...

Hey there! I have to go soon, so I'll be quite brief. I like the concept of this poem. There's a lot of dark imagery. However, you repeated the word ...

Hey there! First, this poem was good, in terms of imagery. It forms a vivid picture in the reader's mind. However, the question (and the poem's main problem) is the ...

Hey there, jessie! First of all, I found this very sweet. You did a good job expressing your emotions in this poem. Nitpicks: Holly Magin, Your funny, Loving, Caring, And ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS! :) I liked this poem. It's short, but the message is clear. Nitpicks: Every vessel in my being hates you; I don't know if it's ...

Hey there! I'm here to review your poem. I have to say that this was beautiful. It has great imagery and I like your choice of words. Some nitpicks: and ...

Hi there! What a refreshing piece. Simple and nice. Now, to the nitpicks: To make the time pass. The phrasing sounds odd here. The glitter looked like the invisible stars ...

Hey there! Overall, this poem had a nice concept and some nice imagery, but I felt that this was something like a draft of the real piece. There's something incomplete ...

Hey there! I'm here to review your poem. Nitpicks: Every night, I dream of you. Every day, I dream to fly. The 'dream' is repeating here; perhaps try replacing the ...

I liked this. It had a rather nice, light-hearted concept. The nip of the wind kissing softly, my face, For me, I'd rather put 'the nip of the wind kissing ...

Hi Chevy! Short and simple. Nice, but it was rather abrupt. You could have expanded more on the topic, so the reader can get the feeling of what you're trying ...

Nice job here, Warrior Princess! I like the imagery in this poem. The sea gulls fade into the sun and call their last goodbye. It should be 'seagulls.' :) Voices ...

Hi there, White Rabbit! I liked this poem. It has a unique concept. Nitpicks: I lure you in with cakes, and wine Drop the comma after 'cakes.' Follow the red, ...

Hey there! Now to the poem: I sketched a sketch to trace a face When you sketch, it's pretty obvious that you're making a sketch. So try replacing that phrase ...

This was quite good! I liked the tone of the poem and way you used a sailor as the subject. The only parts that didn't quite fare well for me ...