Decorating The Window

Hi there!

What a refreshing piece. Simple and nice.

Now, to the nitpicks:

VeraWinters wrote:To make the time pass.

The phrasing sounds odd here.

VeraWinters wrote:The glitter looked like the invisible stars;

I'd add a semicolon here.

VeraWinters wrote:So it nearly looked like they smiled.

How? Why? Elaborate.

VeraWinters wrote:Now, the grimy alleyways

didn't look so big;

Other than that, I found the ending to be kinda abrupt. Perhaps you could try and connect the previous lines with the last ones?

And don't hesitate to punctuate your poem! Punctuation helps with the flow of a poem.

Overall, not bad. Just needs some improvement.
Keep writing!

VeraWinters wrote:I decorated the window

With shooting stars. I like this

I covered it with glitter

To make the time pass. I like this too

I wrote some song lyrics This and the next line seem a bit under descriptive as in they don't really help the poem too much.

And stuck that on too.

I looked out the window

And the whole city seemed new. It's alright here, line wise. And was that supposed to rhyme?

The glitter looked like the invisible stars It can't look like invisible stars because they're invisible?

It distorted peoples faces

So it nearly looked like they smiled.

Now, the grimy alleyways How does people's faces play into the alleyways not being so bad? I get that you're trying to say that the window makes everything look less sad?, but its not connected too well. Maybe it's just the flow of the poem? It's one of those two things. Sorry that I am not too defined.

didn't look so big

This was the world I wanted to live in.[b]I liked your last line. =]

I am not sure if you're connecting all your ideas properly or if they just don't flow in the poem together so it just doesn't connect? I am not too sure.
Anyways:
Good luck, keep writing.
silented1.