Leja

It seems... very prosaic. And naming the old man as a Holocaust survivor, right away, seemed to almost ground it too much, in my opinion. Then, there wasn't really much ...

I was once shrouded in shadows so dark and deep that it seemed light could never peirce them. These shadows were unlike any you've ever seen. They had a life ...

Abruptly cutting off lines is interesting for a little, but then becomes too overused to remain effective. Similarly, some of the ideas here seem equally abrupt: "this house is an ...

I liked the words; all the W's made it calming and swirly and pretty. That said, things seem to be wandering all over the place, held together only by the ...

The only thing I didn't like so much was how every verse started with the same structure "I met a boy named Macedonia in _____." While I liked the repetition ...

Poor Nick :( The parents are as horrifying as ever, though even more so now. There's not much of Nick's thinking in this segment, and it seems strange because of ...

I love all the mechanical imagery here! latitudes and longitudes and dashing down minutes to the I like this line especially because it gives such a lovely, vivid image! There ...

Whee, I like the title :D I didn't like the first two stanzas so much. The first seemed like a general summary, and didn't really seem... complete, like sentence fragments. ...

I'm... lost. Each stanza makes enough sense in itself, but altogether, it's a bit confusing. Though from here: When the funeral is over, they think I'll go with them. The ...

First of all, the spaces between lines aren't really necessary; they make it a bit difficult to read, actually. Each key, each note, chosen carefully To create the image of ...

You use the word "one" alot in the first few lines, and it gets tiresome; variety is the spice of life! See how else you can structure the sentence so ...

My thought at the end of this was "So what?" Essentially, there are always people who feel bad. Why is this person having a unique experience? Why does s/he get ...

Our lips move, voicing words, but forever muted. Never to hear, never again. These are two different things, speaking and hearing, and as such, I don't know if you can ...

This seems more like a set of song lyrics to me than a poem. It presents one thing, and sticks with that one thing for the whole song, not really ...

This seems just like a vague summary of a person. The heart of everything seems to be in the last stanza, but I don't see a general direction for anything ...