Leja

I think you're trying a little too hard to be cryptic here, especially in the first two lines. They really don't need to be so long, so use this opportunity ...

Right away, the title caught my eye. Even though it's only one word, and a pretty common one at that, it set a nice mood for the rest of the ...

You are correct! This is just raw emotion Note: anyone who told you that poetry needs to rhyme to exist as poetry was lying to you :wink: So it can ...

This book has always been my first love of science fiction :D I highly recommend it to anyone. On a slightly smaller note, I've always loved how Meg's mother cooks ...

I liked the first two lines! Very not what I'd expect them to be, and I like that. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the rest of the poem. ...

He can’t shout unless he’s inarticulate though. You might want to rephrase this; it seems to contradict itself with the word "inarticulate". But he never shouts. He never raises his ...

I think you should concentrate on connecting things a bit more. Right now, it seems like a lot of one-line random sentences (often cliches) strung together. Why mention the sunrises ...

This works well as a short story, I think because it's in the present tense. However, a byproduct of writing in the present tense can often be lofty, thoughtful writing ...

“You’re the one who said we should go to the party.” Kel watched her as she ran her fingers through her wet hair. Agatha was making a big deal about ...

There are a lot of phrases here, rather than full sentences. It's a bit awkward after a while. Example: I recognize his smell. Chance reeks! He never bathes. Thinks wolves ...

You sound very formal here, like you don't want to let it go in too many directions. It sounds almost halting, as if you've stopped yourself from writing too much. ...

Edward is an awful example of a character. He's a soapbox for conflict and perfection, only there to serve what Bella wants. In that respect, Jacob is an amazing character ...

And, no joke—a kid comes in. The bell rings and everything. He stands there, blinking, his hand cupped out in front of him. First part should be: "And, no joke, ...

Brutalized, eh? ^_~ The hill was steep. Alden could have flown to the top without trouble, but Aloysius was too weak to be carried by air. They walked instead. Their ...

I didn’t want to move—how terrible, to admit that you were stuck, frozen in the middle of the parking lot, watching two fags suck face? I think this is a ...