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Re: Shakespeare Style
Since this has been brought to my attention, I will comment on it. Note that such an occurance is rare these days. Especially for poetry. Usually, when you borrow a ...
Sep 30, 2006 -
Re: Armageddon
This kind of reads like a wall made out of mis matched legos. This one is green, this one is red, this one is blue, this one is white. You ...
Aug 10, 2006 -
Re: Ainor - Prologue
I think there's too much diologue. It should be the other way around- minimal diologue, more actual text. Try describing what's going on without any diologue first. Dilogue should only ...
Aug 10, 2006 -
Re: Someday when I am a stand up comedian... DONT READ THIS!
"That title sparked your interest aye?" I feel a little violated by that. This post has encoraged me not to read any more of your posts. And it wasn't funny. ...
Apr 22, 2006 -
Re: I am...
I really liked this. (Which is rare, trust me.) I especially enjoyed the "A rose is not a rose anymore" line. The italicised stanza stood out, for reasons other than ...
Apr 4, 2006 -
Re: Tell Me Why
There were four or five lines n the middl (starting with "how coudl you do this?" that were really good, but a lot of the rhyme scheme seemed forced to ...
Apr 2, 2006 -
Re: Incubus
I think for as short as this is, it takes too long to get going. Its a nice concept and its interesting once it gets to the good stuff. And ...
Apr 2, 2006 -
Re: two poems: hope and life
Punctuating poms is all up too you. You can add whatever punctuation to a poem where ever, and whatever you deem necesary. Both of these carry a theme that makes ...
Apr 2, 2006 -
Re: Song for You: a haiku
I will start off with this: I HATE haikiu. Personally I think its far FAR too structured for its own good, and it leaves absolutely no room for insight or ...
Apr 2, 2006 -
Re: [untitled]
This was interesting and enjoyable. I liked the quote/not quote bit. The last word confused me a bit, I wasn't quite sure of its purpose there. Most of the italicisms ...
Mar 28, 2006 -
Re: Sunday Sunlight
This started really well, it was a fabulous first few sentences. And for a few lines, the language was good at setting the mood. But then you kept going with ...
Mar 27, 2006 -
Re: Memoires of Poison-Kissings
For all intensive purposes, this is too long. Some poems can be long, but this isn't one of them. The Raven for instance, pulls off being long largely because its ...
Mar 26, 2006 -
Re: In crystal balls, we lack the present
I hate to leave this without a critique, but I find it hard to say anything. Its good. I can say that much. You have in fact earned a hug. ...
Mar 26, 2006 -
Re: Scranton
This flows nicely, but there are a few moments where the break in the flow is a hinderance to the piece. And you do it in every stanza, but it ...
Mar 25, 2006 -
Re: A Sonnet, a very bad sonnet that I had to do for a class
This isn't quite a sonnet. to be a sonnet, it would need to maintain the abba abba/ abba cddc/ abab cdcd rhyme structure all the way through, and you have ...
Mar 24, 2006
