Young Writers Society

Prologue of a story I'm writing. I like it, and I was just wondering what everyone else thought. If anyone's interested, it's 2 and a half A4 pages long in size 12 font with the margins at 1 cm

A young woman sat at her window, staring listlessly out into the mist. It had been there for days, and showed no sign of abating. She sighed and turned her head back to the drawing in her hands. It was of a tall, handsome boy with quite short hair – it didn’t even come down to his chin! – who was staring over his shoulder with his back to the viewer. She had been given this picture and had memorised it. Carefully she stared at the picture, before throwing it into the air, where is burst into flame. As the ashes fell to the floor, there was a slam of a door and a voice at the other end of the room.

“What was that, Catkin?”

“A sketch,” the woman called Catkin replied.

“What of?”

“Nothing.” The voice at the other end of the room sighed and there was a rustle as someone walked forwards. As the person came towards the window, the dim light shone upon her features. Her brown hair hung down her back in waves and her pale grey eyes matched the fog outside. She was dressed in a long flowing white gown which was designed to hide her shape. She was slightly plump, in contrast to the almost skinny woman she was approaching.

“Rest a while, Catkin,” she said, reaching out and touching her companion on the shoulder. Catkin shrugged her off.

“Really, I’m fine, Tienkia,” she protested. Tienkia nodded and went back to where she usually sat; in an alcove by the fireplace. She picked a book off the stool she in the alcove and, sitting down, began to read. Catkin watched her for a while, then turned her head to the pile of paper on the table before her. She started to scrawl a quick drawing, but could not concentrate. Muttering to herself under her breath in frustration, she scribbled over the paper then screwed it up and threw it in the air, where it caught fire like the previous drawing.

Tienkia looked up from where she was sitting. “You are stressed,” she said. “Come, Catkin, it is nearly time for afternoon prayer. Stop this drawing and walk with me to the Hall.”

“I am fine,” Catkin protested, but Tienkia grabbed her arm and dragged her to her feet.

“Now,” she commanded before walking through the door. Catkin glared at her back then stomped after her. As she slammed the door shut the door burst into flames. Tienkia pretended not to notice this, and the flames soon died down as the two young women walked down the stairs and out of sight, leaving the door pristine.

Catkin’s temper slowly melted away as they walked down the spiral staircase that led to the ground floor of the large building she lived in. By the time she and Tienkia reached a pair of double doors made of ebony she was quite calm again. There was another young woman waiting for them at the door. She was the youngest of the three; one year younger than Catkin and three years younger than Tienkia. However, despite her age she was regarded as the most beautiful of the three friends, with her long, wavy chestnut hair and soft, shining sea green eyes. Next to her, Tienkia looked quite frumpy and Catkin uncouth and wild looking. The three of them waited by the door for a moment.

“Where were you, Sontei?” asked Tienkia. “You were not in the tower room.” Sontei blushed.

“I was out,” she said. Tienkia saw the hidden meaning behind those words.

“You are a Priestess of the Light!” she gasped. “You should remember your vows!” Sontei scowled and her usually soft eyes flashed hard. It was, strangely, Catkin who stood between the two.

“It’s not like you two to fight,” she said. “Tienkia, do you not remember what it was like being young yourself?”

“But…”

“And Sontei, you are a Priestess of the Light. You should abide by your vows to Our Lord.”

“Yes, I know,” Sontei sighed.

“Let us repeat our vows before we renter the Hall, so we may not forget who we are,” said Tienkia. The other two nodded their heads and they all clasped their hands before them, bowing their heads over them.

“Rasol, Great Lord of the Light, Sun God, I enter your service,” they intoned. “I swear undying service to you, and in serving you I vow to live a life of purity. I swear to listen to your word and follow your creed. In being pure I will become closer to you, until the time will come where I will fly to your right hand and be in your glory. Blessed be the Light.” When their vows had finished, they stood in silence for a while, their heads bowed. Then they raised their heads and together pushed open the door before them.

The room they entered was full of benches, and many people were already seated. They went to a bench near the back and sat down, their heads bowed. Soon they heard footsteps coming up the aisle. They resisted the urge to look around, for they knew that it was the High Priest of the Light who was walking down towards the altar. He stopped and turned at the other end – they could hear the rustle of his cloaks. But still they did not look up.

“This afternoon will be a moment of remembrance,” the High Priest said. “We will remember our vows to the Sun God. We will remember the birth of life. And we will remember what our world was like, when evil crawled in the dark places.” There was silence in the Hall as the High Priest cleared his throat. then he stepped to the lectern that was beside the altar and opened the huge book that was upon it.

“Once there was darkness. In the darkness crawled the dark things, evil and terrible. They crawled over the Mother Earth, and she was afraid. But then the great Lord Rasol, God of the Light, came to the Mother Earth. He chased the darkness away, and the Mother rejoiced. Then the Mother had children, and they played in the glorious light and were protected from the darkness, and were innocent.

“But the darkness returned, with the help of their Dark God, Anael. They attacked the Light, and disrupted the peace. People began to forsake the Light, and the Mother, and the Mother began to despair. But Our Holy Lord took it upon himself to beat back the encroaching darkness. He won for a time, but he became tired, and sank down. The dark took over the land, and it was night. Then Our Lord arose again, and beat back the darkness, and it was day. And ever since then, the Light and the dark have been in a constant battle.

“But there will come a time when a child will be born – not in this world, but in a different world, of different making. He will not belong there, and will find his way to our world where he will join with the darkness and take over the Mother. It is the duty of the Light to stop him, and with his death the darkness will be overthrown and the Light will reign supreme over the Mother’s land, and protect the Mother.” As the High Priest finished the tale, everyone bowed their heads and listened as he began the familiar prayer;

“Rasol, Our Holy Lord, hear us! We have remembered and we will always remember. We obey you and will always obey you. We ask you to help us in need, and in return we worship you.” Silence followed, as everyone in the room pleaded to the God of the Light to grant them their wish, or else sat in comfortable silence, not wishing for anything. But as they sat in quiet contemplation, there was a ferocious knocking at the front door. Two priestesses at the back of the Hall stood up and left. A booming voice could be heard, and then suddenly silence. All the people in the hall looked up in anticipation as the two huge doors of the Hall opened. Two men marched into the room, scowling around.

“Traitors!” one of them bellowed. “Traitors are amongst us!”

“Nonsense,” the High Priest said. “We are all true followers of the Light and Our Golden Lord here.”

“Nevertheless, we have evidence that there are traitors amongst us.”

“Well, who?”

“Them,” said one of the guards, pointing to where Tienkia, Sontei and Catkin sat.

“Us!” Tienkia cried. “But I am a devout servant of Our Sun God!” She protested as the guards came towards her. “Tell them, you two!” she cried to her companions.

“Shut up and run!” Catkin hissed. “You’ll never make them believe you!” She grabbed their arms and dragged them through the ranks of

priestesses, who just sat there stupidly watching them. Once they were in a corridor she let go of their arms and continued to run.

“What is the meaning of this?” Tienkia demanded. “We just have to get them to believe that we are true Priestesses of the Light!” Catkin stopped and turned to face her.

“They believe that we are traitors,” she said. “Nothing is going to make them believe that we are not. Now run, unless you want to die.” She turned and began to run again, but suddenly a door in front of her banged open and a dozen soldiers of the King stormed out. Sontei screamed as one lunged for her, but Catkin kicked the soldier in his groin and carried on running, dashing between the other soldiers. She heard more screams behind her, but continued to run without hesitation, for she knew that there was no chance of getting her friends free now. Her only chance was to run.

“Catkin!” she heard Sontei cry. Tears fell down her face, but she had to keep running, she had to keep fleeing from the soldiers. She dived into a narrow corridor that the wide soldiers following her could not easily. The corridor was one of a maze of corridors which she knew very well, and the soldiers didn’t know at all. She hoped that she would be able to lose them in the narrow passages. Left, right, left, left, up some stairs, right, right, straight ahead, left… She took a twisting, turning path through the network of passageways until she was near the top of the building. She stopped at the top and stared down, unseen by anyone on the ground. The soldiers appeared to have given up on looking for her, and instead were dragging Tienkia and Sontei out of the Temple and into carts that were to take them, she guessed, into the citadel of the Light. She sighed, tears falling down her face as she watched the carts carry her friends away from her.

“I will rescue you,” she murmured. “And I will explain everything. I promise…"

In case you're wondering, Ainor is the main character in the story, which is why it is named after them and not something else.