Kylan

Short and skimpy. You've been around here for a while and you must have learned that you get better responses when you post more than 15 lines as Ms. Razor ...

I liked how you combined first and second narrative in this piece. I can honestly say that I've never seen anything like it. So kudos to you for writing something ...

This is an interesting idea. I like the concept, I liked your writing style, but I didn't like how you wrote it. The school reminds me too much of Hogwarts ...

Wow. That was certaintly shocking. I can't say that you described Samantha's grisly death very well, but it was certaintly a twist on the traditional story. Boy likes girl, boy ...

This is an interesting idea. However, you dump massive amounts of info on the reader. A reader doesn't want to read a history book, they want to read a novel ...

Okay. Where to begin? Definatley listen to good razor. Slow down. A story is not written for the plot nor the action, but rather for character development. If your readers ...

This is incredibly long. Therefore, I will only critique the prologue right now. In the furture, consider splitting your story into seperate posts and posting them a few days apart ...

I actually really liked this. Not necessarily for the story, but for the writing itself. Your writing is blunt yet descriptive. Fictional, yet realistic. You know a story's good when ...

Welcome to YWS!!!! Not much of a prologue. Not much of anything really. It sounds interesting, but please, take some time to write a story, not a history. It's the ...

Hey there Jabber! Here's my payback for all of your helpful critiques! :wink: I liked this. Your style and characters are very contagious. You manage to both keep me interested ...

Welcome to YWS This was extremely well written. There is a lot of beautiful imagery and passion in 3.00 which draws a reader into it immediately. The length is good, ...

This piece was well written, but weak in plot. What was going on? Yeah, I got the general gist, but the power of your writing was severely muffled by your ...

You definately have a beautiful writing style. Your writing manages to capture an entire scene and drag the reader into it and hold them tight until the very end (how's ...

Interesting. I noticed you stated several things that could have been stated in a simpler manner, such as these lines: A bird was flying, minding naught but its own wings, ...

Excellent, excellent, excellent! This is my kind of poem. Abstract enough to make me work for the meaning, but plain enough for there to be one. Your comparison with the ...