Kylan

Hello! I've never been a fan of journal entry stories. They're too real for me. They're too human. If I want to see something real and human I'll look in ...

Pointedancer - This is not a poem. This is more like a list. You do nothing to stimulate the senses, you don't bother incorporate any kind of subtlety, and there ...

I agree with Jay said about the first sentence. It's somewhat confusing. Are you shooting for an allusion, symbolism, imagery here? What are you trying to say? Is the blood ...

There are some things in this world I cannot resist. (1) The World War Two era (2) Japan during and after World War Two (3) Anything written by Sam. Therefore ...

Hello there! Your story looked lonely so I decided to keep it company for a while. Honestly, my friend, you lost me. And not due to of an over-use of ...

Hey there Angel! I thought I'd stop by and repay you for all of your wonderful critiques. I picked a piece out of your profile that was more recent and ...

And I'm with Demeter and Gryph. By far, this was the most suspenseful addition. Superb. You seem to have (more or less) mastered the art of writing a trill oriented ...

I really enjoyed this, Suz! As usual, you've given us a brilliant metaphor to string an idea together and make us think of a common idea or theme from a ...

Wonderful. A very satisfying conclusion. Some things I liked about the chapter : -- The washing/drying machine metaphor -- The note at the end. Very unexpected. -- How you managed ...

Hey there Jared! Finally getting to this. Things have cooled down for the next few days and I decided to pay you a visit. I was not disappointed. The story ...

Although your concept is unique, I found this to be lacking many of the elements essential for good poetry. What you've done here is express an old story again in ...

As has been said before me, this was a very powerful scene. Very full and very indicative of your style. I enjoyed it, as always. However, I think out of ...

I enjoyed this. As Faith said, it definately has a certain elegance. A certain appeal to it. Very pretty words defining a pleasent enough topic I suppose. Although, as Jared ...

Ooh. Very nice. You have me hooked, my friend! I really enjoyed this. It was very Jared-esque. Simple in its delivery, but powerful nonetheless. Tight, taut, multi-layered, true to life. ...

*CRITIQUE PRIZE* Hey there J! You have a nice piece here. As you said, it's very subtle, and the undertones - or the overtones, for that matter - are difficult ...