Krupp

I have to admit, this isn't a poem. This is more like a freestyle or lyrics... It isn't as gross as I thought it would be, having read the other ...

Well, I said I would take a look at what you wrote, and here it is. I saw only two real problems; showing Martin's thoughts, and telling. You'll hear that ...

This is pretty good. The focus of the poem, the message, is pretty clear. And the imagery was all right... Simple and to the point. Sometimes that strategy works, and ...

This might be the finest piece i've read on this forum, regarding imagery. That's the kind of writing I absolutely love. This was a complete sucess if you're setting up ...

This sounds like a dark-humor kind of story. At least, that's how I read it... I'm interested in the protagonist; I wrote a character fairly similar to him once. He ...

Hate to say it, mate, but this doesn't really strike me as poetry... More of spoken word or prose, really. But that doesn't mean it's bad. It's just a bit ...

I felt it was very repetitive. This is how I felt also. I've seen a few poems like this on this website as of late. It's not adding anything really ...

The poem seems disjointed to me; I don't know if I"m just reading the way you patterned the writing wrong or what, but I found the writing a bit vague ...

I think Eimear pointed out everything I was gonna cover... As for a title..uh, well, I can't specifically give you any suggestions. That would rob you of that pleasure. I ...

If I was badmouthing you I would have sent a pm. As it is, I really don't care what you think. But I feel bad that I'm digressing from a ...

A bit more of telling than showing...but it has heart. Next time, try to pace the storry a bit, instead of just rambling on almost was difficult for me to ...

The whole spiel with the letters: Alive, Dull, and such, seemed completely irrelevant to me. If you had a deeper purpose in using them, then inform me please, because I ...

To tell you the truth, this confused me. Of the selfishness and tame...why the tame? Is it just because it rhymes. Ky This is what threw me off as well. ...

the lines starting with "Rubble..." and "And sleep..." don't seem to really fit well with the rest of piece. Think about playing around with those two lines and fixing them. ...

A fine poem built up off of raw emotion...aside from a few small spelling errors (ex: lerched is actually "lurched") this was a fine piece. The rhyming in random spots ...