Young Writers Society

You don't seem to have much direction.

You have violence against a feeble creature used as some sort of scapegoat but it doesn't offer much else in terms of an implied meaning. The dominance of the strong of the weak and the destruction and a tie in with God doesn't offer much to me as a reader because there isn't a discernible character perpetrating it. Without a distinct character it sort of falls into the category of poetry which doesn't evoke much of a response because I can't even vaguely attribute my emotional response to anything so it fizzle out into, "so that happened, huh? Well I can't blame anyone so, well... and so it fades."

I'm not suggesting a concrete character called Sweeney Todd - ambiguity may be what you're going for but some sort of description of a character may help.

The imagery wasn't too bad - It was strong but I wouldn't say it was particulary creative but given the topic and nonchalant brutality may work better but even so metaphors that compares these acts to something more common, more everyday would have the same effect and perhaps add a new dimension e.g. comparing the beating to eating crisps, the death to the end of the packet. With some more creative imagery it would become easier to relate to.

This is pretty good. The focus of the poem, the message, is pretty clear. And the imagery was all right...

Simple and to the point. Sometimes that strategy works, and sometimes it doesn't. I think that you should consider maybe making the message of the poem a bit more difficult to read. It was almost too easy as it is now.

Otherwise, this was fine.