Kale

Since this is so short, I believe I shall do a line-by-line. Comments in blue. The skin, lackluster, is stretched taut Green turning yellow, they bow down Who are "they"? ...

It hit me like a bullet; a bullet that was shot straight into my ear drum, forcing its way in so that the sounds couldn’t echo. The redundancy of "bullet" ...

Hello there, gizmo59, and welcome to YWS. The first thing I would like to say concerns your formatting. Right now, all your paragraphs are lumped together into one mass of ...

Hello there mkayd25. I could have sworn I reviewed this earlier. Apparently not. So here I am to fix that. Next time you post something and want reviews, you might ...

It was one of the many portals back to the Other World, my true Home. How does Artem know this? A bit of explanation, even if it is just that ...

You've already had a number of excellent reviews on this, so that makes things both easier and more difficult for me to review. XD Concerning the more formal tone, I ...

Hello again. You might want to link to the first part at the top of the post. That way, it will be the first thing that your readers will see. ...

Hello there, PadrePio. I am happy to report that this story of yours caught and held my interest. There are a couple of issues that do need pointing out, though. ...

The American Dream has always been the goal of Americans, maybe not from the beginning, but it has always been there. This sentence contradicts itself. You're saying the dream has ...

Four score , and seven years ago, Watch your spelling. I disliked the use of "data" and "helix-like". They struck me as a bit out-of-place. Also, I believe "two-pricked" should ...

Alrighty, Aiden. Prepare yourself for a critique. First things I noticed: grammar and spelling. Poetry generally follows the same conventions of grammar and spelling as regular writing; it is these ...

Hello there, Jake. First off, I'd like to commend you for your formatting. It is easy to read, and the chorus and verses are clearly separated. This is much appreciated. ...

I tiredly dress myself in skin, Nix the adverb. Adverbs are to be used sparingly in prose, and even moreso in poetry, as they tend to weaken what they describe ...

The grammar in this is atrocious. The punctuation is inconsistent, you have tense shifts everywhere, you've got randomly capitalized and uncapitalized letters scattered about, and you've got some basi

Hey there, questcrewforever. You wouldn't happen to be a fan of the dance group Quest Crew, would you? If so, I know someone who might want to talk to you. ...