Kale

A racking shiver. Should be "wracking". A rack is a thing of shelves. This poem overall was quite disjointed. Practically every line ends in a period, which makes for a ...

Thus comes the formerly Esperanto squirrel; Alas, Esperanto is a language separate from Spanish. And here I was hoping it was an intentional reference to the language. This was a ...

I peddled on home You sold things all the way home? I believe you meant "pedaled". My legs peddled with ease And this line makes me pretty positive you meant ...

Next time, before you go posting right after writing something, please please please take the time to revise it. Please. Your reviewers would greatly appreciate it because then they could ...

This thing needs paragraphs. Badly. Right now, they're giant blocks of text which are the exact opposite of being reader-friendly. You can find some tips on paragraphing in this thread: ...

As is we won't cause her any strife "As is", or "as if"? If the former, you need a comma after "is". If the latter, it's a reminder to not ...

Rather than try to write from a generic guy's point of view, try writing from a specific guy's point of view. Each guy is different, just as each girl is ...

When I first started reading this poem, I figured it was one of those regular, sappy poems, up until I reached these lines: His smile doesn’t meet his eyes, But ...

Awaiting us to climb aboard from birth. The flow was lovely, up until this last line. The pattern of stresses just doesn't fit with the rest of the lines in ...

The first thing that came into my mind upon seeing this poem: Why is the text colored? The second: What is going on with the punctuation? First impressions are rather ...

Gonna take the world hostage and feed everyone sausage until you read my poetry and explain it all to me. This first stanza amuses me immensely. Normally I'd be complaining ...

whoever I?m forced Now, while the transformation from apostrophe to question mark totally isn't your fault, it is a rather distracting thing for your readers to see. It's always a ...

Glowing conceited That's an interesting image. Perhaps a bit too interesting, since I can't really visualize anything for it, and you don't really elaborate upon this particular phrase. As a ...

I could have sworn I reviewed this ages ago... Apparently not. Oh well. I'm reviewing it now. Remember what was said about the weather? You and your weather. XD That ...

Today my father died. Gone, he was here yesterday. Left me, my family. Not a note or goodbye. There are several issues with this stanza. The most noticeable of these ...