Kale

Overall, the rhyme was good. You kept to a consistent scheme which really helped it. My only quibbles are "break it" and "one hit" and "become" and "anthem." They don't ...

You had a very good rhythm up until the third line of the last stanza. Try "Restart?" instead. Also, the very short one-word lines annoyed me a bit. I think ...

and colder than a frozen penguin in an Antarctic lake. Pure awesomeness. It's my favorite line. X3 I think it could use a bit of refining just to make it ...

Call me strange, but I liked this. It's morbid not in the blood-and-gore-and-carnage way but in the more subtle how-can-they-talk-about-it-so-casually type of way. :3 It's also a pretty unique take ...

Hi there. I'm Kyllorac, and I'll be reviewing you today. What I'm going to tell you may be harsh, but just keep in mind that I'm trying to help you. ...

Hi there! I'll be reviewing you today. Sorry if it seems a bit harsh; I'm not trying to be mean. :D When my demonic side can come out and ravage ...

This is the tale of the mysterious and immortal freedom fighter ninja known only by the name whispered on bated breath during games of Chinese Whispers with Auld Lang Syne ...

about 14 of age stepped out About fourteen whats? I believe you're missing "years." Also, when writing, spell out fourteen instead of just using the numbers. The general rule is ...

he was a slave and a prisoner, and jasmine You forgot to capitalize Jasmine. Jed, now alone in the darkened room, lay completely silent and still on his back. He ...

Hello there. I am Kyllorac, and I'll be reviewing you today. I'm not sure if you're aware, but there is a rule that you must review two other stories before ...

Hello, Fortuna. I'm Kyllorac, and I'll be reviewing you today. :D Your spelling and grammar were superb overall. I caught a couple missing/misplaced commas, but I think you'll be able ...

The only reason drinking animal's blood is overused is because it's practical. :P No complaints to be had from me on that matter. A fat droplet of water dripped onto ...

This was very confusing. Whose viewpoint is this being told from: Ebony's or Ashe's? Also, a bit more background on who the diehard are and what "dreaming" is and why ...

[/quote][i] Was she trying to convince me or herself? [i][/quote] Random floating tags. Other than that, everyone else has gone over everything else. XP A bit more description would be ...

Meadowlark was pretty thorough with her critique, so all I can really do is agree with her. XD In particular, you should pay attention to her comments on the long ...