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Kale

Your #1 Source for a Healthy Dose of Quackery

  • Other » General, General Re: The Reach N' Grab - Infomercial

    Reach n’ grab! Capitalization is inconsistent. Elija Wood Well , s ure! Too many exclamation points. @_@ When you use as many exclamation points close together, they lose their impact ...

    Jan 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Letter from a possesive vampire

    This made me giggle. XD (About almost all your life) As Snoink already mentioned, there is a huge difference between "you're" and "your". Even with a spelling/grammar checker, you'll have ...

    Jan 22, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Day I Killed My Love

    You might want to delete your name; people can track you down with it. It snuck up behind me This line is redundant. I think the poem would be better ...

    Jan 22, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: fake

    Attention-grabbing whore Your formatting also needs to be fixed. There really shouldn't be such a huge space in between the lines as having each line as a separate stanza doesn't ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: My Inspiration

    Hey there. The first thing I'd like to say is that if you're emotionally attached to a poem, it's best not to post it for public review right away. Instead, ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Mr. Green Loves Whales: A Children's Story

    Such a simple and sweet story. :D It's a bit short, but I think this would work great as a picture book. There were a couple of mistakes I caught. ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: My artifice

    This was a nice, simple poem, and I enjoyed reading it. :D I agree with Juniper: the first line of the third stanza needs some work. I would suggest rephrasing ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: l

    I think about my life(comma) how it's flashing through my eyes "It is" becomes "it's" while the possessive form of "it" is "its". Be sure to pay closer attention to ...

    Jan 20, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Beast is Dead: Prolouge and Chapter 1

    Why is the first paragraph italicized, but not the rest? I could reassure myself that , as amazing as she seemed to be , she was never smarter. She ended ...

    Jan 20, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: DCI

    It's always in the tribulations of frustrating work , a more melodic, peaceful, and authentic impact on self advancement How can impacts be melodic and peaceful? What was your goal ...

    Jan 20, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Warrior

    I liked this. There was a definite rhythm to it which really made the poem flow. I think breaking this up into stanzas where you change the rhythm would be ...

    Jan 20, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Bloody Tears

    I liked the simplicity of this poem, but the rhythm just feels off to me. With the exception of the first two lines of the last stanza, none of the ...

    Jan 20, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Do you want to play

    Hey there, speakerskat, and welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay here. :D Kaywiia gave you some very good advice and brings up some good points; I would listen to ...

    Jan 20, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Fallen

    I agree with jasminebells; the last line was really weak. Your rhyme falls a bit flat because there is no consistent rhythm; rhymes rely heavily on rhythm, and without a ...

    Jan 20, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Critic and Writer

    This is an interesting subject, and I like how you separated the viewpoints of the Writer and the Critic. Another thing I liked is how you start each section with ...

    Jan 20, 2010


To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.
— Audrey Hepburn