Published January 20, 2010
Mr. Green Loves Whales
Mr. Green loves whales. He sings songs to the whales. He swims with the whales. He even plays with the whales.
One day the whales went to their summer home. Mr. Green went into the water, but there were no whales. He began to look for them with his diving suit. But he could not see them.
He went to the summer home to find the whales. He dived into the water to look for the whales. He found a baby whale all by itself. He followed the baby whale really far. The baby took him to see all of the other whales.
He sang with the whales. He swam with the whales. He even played with the whales. Soon Mr. Green got really tired. It was getting dark so Mr. Green decided to go home. He promised to come see the whales everyday until they came back to the winter home.
And everyday he came back to the summer home to sing with the whales, to swim with the whales, and even to play with the whales.
The End
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,885 Literary Works • 673,697 Reviews
Lol. This story would be good for kids. I made one myself. I was inspired by you.
Aristotle 
I'm sorry to say that I found this a little... pointless?
I mean, if it was published on pages whith little hand drawn pictures on it, then it'd be cute. But I tried to picture it, and I couldn't. There's no decription, and a skin-on-bones type of plot.
I also didn't like the repition of 'whales' and 'Mr. Green'. Again, it would be fine if it was in a childrens book.
If that was what you were going for, then I give you a thumbs up!
Keep writing
Classy
Dear FreeVoice,
This would make an AMAZING children's story, especially in states that are near the ocean and have local whales like Maine. Besides the couple grammar errors, I loved it!
Such a simple and sweet story. :D It's a bit short, but I think this would work great as a picture book.
There were a couple of mistakes I caught. I'll point them out for you. :D
You need a comma after "one day".
You need a comma after "dark".
Again, this was a really sweet story. I really enjoyed reading it. :D
Ah cute! I really like it!I can totally imagine reading that to my younger cousins and they'd love it! great job and keep it up!
peace
~*~fairygirl~*~