Kale

Bare feet upon sun-scorch ed seas What lies beyond each rock and tree That mark s the distance, The endless distance , Of the traveler ? A good tip when ...

The entire thing struck me as quite choppy. There's no real transition between one paragraph to the next, or even between sentences. For example: The tree is more like a ...

First things first, you need to go back in and add paragraphs. One solid block of text is not easy to read, and most people will not even bother trying ...

Here's the review you requested. Sorry I'm a little late. Since you are already aware of a lot of the words being unneeded, I'm not going to comment on that. ...

The beginning (the first six paragraphs, actually) felt a bit choppy to me. The majority of those sentences are telling sentences, and while I don't normally mind this style of ...

Hey there. This is a fun little poem you have here, and I enjoyed reading it. :D I do think there's a fair amount of room for improvement, but this ...

As promised, here's a review. :D Well, Stella Thomas and WritingSpitfire were very thorough in pointing out the technical aspects, so I'll be focusing more on the content and how ...

Hello there. I warn you beforehand that I shall be quite nitpicky in this review. Please don't take it personally. :D My comments will be in dark blue . Juliet ...

Hello there. Here's the review I promised you. Sorry it took so long. ^^; “I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe exist without the clockmaker” is a quote ...

Hello there. Here's a review as requested. :D The first thing I noticed is that your grammar is a bit off. Some sentences have extra words, some have missing, some ...

Another person chiming in to say this poem was great. I think we've all been there at some point (I know I have multiple times) and you really captured the ...

Rosie was quite thorough, and I agree with her for the most part. The first line could use rephrasing. I understand what you are saying, but the way you've used ...

Hello there. I see you're new. :D You might want to go and review some other members' works; not only are people more likely to want to review you, but ...

Whilst that firm and apathetic authority stands looming over us all. Sentence fragment. "Whilst" really stands out, and not in a good way. Also, what authority? As the wind sways ...

Well, Jasmine was pretty thorough in her review, and I have nothing else to really add except to second her suggestions on punctuation. It will make this poem much easier ...