KaitelynMiller

Thumbs up, thumbs up, thumbs up! Great job ending this. My only thing is, character development. Even though it's a short story it doesn't mean you shouldn't add depth to ...

Someone was chasing me. We were in a dark forest. Fog was creeping around me. Leaves rustled and I heard a shot. Pain coursed through my leg and I saw ...

I'm pretty sure Apple covered everything grammatically. I just want my opinion out there, that it is an amazing work. You did a very nice job with character developement and ...

I really like this, Zoray. It's real. No one's life is perfect and you make that obvious. There are a few nitpicks, of course. She stood up on her pointed ...

I like what you did with the colors being feelings. It adds something unique to your piece. I would hope this turns out to be a compilation of letters to ...

Sarebear, This piece has potential. It really does. But there are flaws. :arrow: As vox nihili said, the beginning is really dry. When something is dry, readers are less apt ...

I like this. A lot of emotion. But just reading what I did, I didn't know what was going on. Sometimes you have to tell not show. (despite what everyone ...

I really love this piece. It sounds like the begining to a book I would read. You should absolutely submit this in a contest. Afterwards (after you win that is), ...

I'm sure you've heard this a million and a half times, but you really need to work on spelling. This isn't a text you're sending to a friend; it's a ...

Ross, I actually love the Twilight series a lot. And when I read the first few lines I was disturbed at what I was reading. But as I continued (i ...

personalinsanity, This is really deep. I liked reading it. Plus the formal elements in it keep things in line. Inside I feel like I am hopeless Out of reach of ...

Her light green eyes full of passion every time she kissed him. Her light brown hair tied into an elegant plait , strands falling into front of her eyes. While ...

This is super good. The end sentence is worded oddly though. That would have been that except something bigger was yet to come for Miss. April Reese. Maybe you need ...

Hey AngelBaby88, This is really good. Just a few grammatical errors and such. he smiled and nodded. Capitalize the "H" in he. If he hadnt turned in time he wouldnt ...

Hey irresistible kitties, Bitch. That's all that fucking teacher is, a bitch There should be a comma after the last bitch. Regardless of your age ,the kid in the book ...