Kafkaescence

1. Proofread it, please. 2. I was incredibly confused throughout this, so I went ahead and skimmed the first chapter. It did elucidate a few things, but even then this ...

Glad to see your name around the forum again! Just stopping by to make a quick comment. I'm normally not a fan of undisguised love poems, as I think this ...

Being with you is like a wind-up toy car If I let you go now l guarantee you’d go far Good first line, slaughtered by the fact that the next ...

Open Eyes. Why the capitalization? A bright light tried to get past all the tall, cascading branches around me. It tried to? What was it? Did it succeed? None of ...

So last night I wrote a big long review on this; I came back here to check on it, and it's disappeared! Where it went off to I have no ...

Poetry ain't prose. They're close, but it ain't. What you have here is a block of rambling prose disguised in the form of a poem. Granted, that's harsh. But it's ...

This felt rambling. The premise was intriguing, but this wasn't cohesive enough to really enforce it at all. The loosely organized thought-stream method you adopt is rarely effective in the ...

1. It's pretty scattered, for such a short poem! There isn't any distinguishable theme linking the lines together, aside from the fact that lines two and three are saying virtually ...

Just as a heads up, I have not read the previous chapter, but I noticed you were lacking in reviews, so I figured I'd pop in. 1. You use words ...

in the wash bin I shed my skin like a snake, and it was no pretty sight, let me tell you, it was this ragged wretched part of me that ...

1. the ellipses need to go. you use an ellipsis like it's a fix-all for any punctuation uncertainties, and it's not. ellipses should be used sparingly, if ever. go through ...

1. the beginning was disorienting. you begin with colorful images of trees and dewy grass and a light breeze, then proceed to describe the moon and barren streets. it was ...

i can't pretend to have read any of the previous chapters, but i still have a few comments to make. 1. tighten up on your grammar. i'm not in the ...

1. this is a horror piece without a home. there was only a thread of a plot for me to hold on to as the story progressed, and normally i ...

I remembered the strikethrough feature! The journalist was patiently waiting in the room on the first floor, having not been allowed even to go to the first floor offices Awkward. ...