Kafkaescence

This lacks rhythm. I like the subject (very original, good job) and I like...well, I guess I'm not sure about how you repeated the last word of a stanza at ...

She floats off the ground like a fairy, Uh, how does that work? and moves through the air like a feather, she shines in the sky like a rainbow, Ugh. ...

Okay, my first impression is that this poem drags on for much too long. You've got the feeling, but you don't need a full nine stanzas to establish it. Especially ...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. About half of this poem says absolutely nothing. When I found you, I found a new me. A me that I had, Been unable to see. ...

Firstly, I'd fix up the formatting. It's a lot easier to read when you don't have a space between every line. Now. My main problem lies with the first stanza. ...

Death is such a one-sided argument. Death is an argument? We have no say, no choice in when to die. You don't have to tell me things I already know. ...

As requested. I suppose it will suffice to say that this was interesting. Very Kafkaesque, in a way. But, then again, it is very different from anything he wrote. Unless ...

Were you taking this poem seriously when you wrote it? I hope not. This isn't original at all. It's just another "omg I luv u y cant u be mine" ...

I like the name. That's a good way to start out a review, isn't it? Starts it off on a high note. I have some problems with this. Firstly, all ...

Okay, now I'm just annoyed. You did it. You broke away from that cliched downward spiral. Now you're in an original downward spiral. This is waaay too early. The Oliver ...

Cold blade, warm vein, exacuting my pain. 1) You misspelled "executing," 2) "my pain" sounds off, because you really don't have to tell me that the pain is yours, and ...

To Annalane. When looking in each other's eyes, Meh. Not that original. Also, "in" should be "into." We forget the world, Again. Cliched. We set free our hearts, And throw ...

I'm back. Get ready. I liked the first chapter better. I was hoping that this story would not turn out as it seems to be. Even then, you had all ...

Int'resting. My problem with this piece is that it's too short. The transition between the MC telling about herself (I'm guessing it's a girl) and the jump to the present ...

Your moist hands like rain playing on my skin. "Playing?" Not really the right word. Scratching at my surface to see what I hide within. Your hands underneath my clothes, ...