Published March 9, 2011
I love old fairy tales and all their words:
the ending is no longer a mystery,
the heroine is as fair as a rose,
her hero, a prince, come to set her free.
He takes her home to his parent’s castle
the ending is always happy, never dark.
The silent beauty lies in the dark.
The people around are empty of words,
and dust has settled over the castle
creating a place of gloom and mystery.
A handsome prince, fighting to set her free,
defeats the dragon and wins his Briar Rose.
In early morning, before the sun rose,
a wicked stepmother creeps through the dark
towards the cottage where dwarfs run free.
She chokes out the pale girl’s words,
but is thwarted by a prince of mystery
who carries his bride to the white castle.
A lovely beauty wandering the castle,
her hand reached out to touch the rose.
It was so beautiful, such a mystery
just like the beast lurking in the dark.
A gentle kiss, love’s confirming words:
the spell has broken and the beast is free.
A trapped princess longs to be free
from the tower of an enchantress’ castle.
She lets down her hair at the woman’s words,
wishing on the stars each night as they rose
wondering how she would escape the dark,
then a prince came and solved the mystery.
A pretty servant girl, her future a mystery,
endures her mistresses’ words, working for free,
never hating her stepfamily- her heart is not dark.
A fairy godmother’s spell sends her to the castle
where she danced until the hands on the clock rose.
A glass slipper seals her fate and she escaped the biting words.
Each story has a dark side, a tinge of mystery
but always the same words appear after the girl is free:
“happily ever after,” a castle and the bride, fair as a rose.
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140,529 Literary Works • 673,402 Reviews
--> Hello! Love this poem so much! You even included Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel and Sleeping beauty!
great job! 
--> I don't think I have to say a critique, I think your grammar is okay and all that I noticed is that you are not using rhyming words but the poem flows smoothly (in my own opinion)
This lacks rhythm. I like the subject (very original, good job) and I like...well, I guess I'm not sure about how you repeated the last word of a stanza at the end of the first line in the next stanza, but your rhythm is really off. Work a little with the line breaks - combine some lines, mix it up a little.
-Kafka
I like it, but I spotted some problems:
"In early morning, before the sun rose,
a wicked stepmother creeps through the dark"---"rose," and "creeps" are two different tenses
"A glass slipper seals her fate and she escaped the biting words."---a glass slipper "sealed" her fate---
I'm not a fairytale guy, but I enjoyed this, solid poem.
hey there!! Welcome to YWS!!!
The theme of your poem is very nice... The flow of it was smooth and perfect... What I loved about your poem was that as I read through it I got lost in the fairy tales you have mentioned in almost all stanzas. I could remember the enjoyment I felt while reading them and that's what made you poem very good for me...
Keep up the good writing:)
Harshita...
Bekah this is so cool XP
<3
I love how it has all the different fairytales in it and I also love how, in each stanza, the ending words of each line is the same as the next stanza
That's so COOL! I never would have ever thought of anything that clever
I can't leave a long review, unfortunately, because I'm not on my laptop, and my dad's pestering me to get off. XP Anyways, that was lovely, as always, Bekah.The words flowed together perfectly.
I love how you went through the different fairy-tales like that. It added a beautiful touch to an awesome poem.
Love ya.