Kafkaescence

A nice bit of catharsis, but it's not particularly cohesive. It needs to be streamlined, both allegorically and otherwise. A number of symbols remain nebulous or redundant or undefined. For ...

Frantic night times are inevitably followed by the aching mass of fear, frustration and relief. I mark down each one on a pink calendar. I'm writing an essay on sleep, ...

While I think this was still a bit too structured to be labelled as strictly free-verse, I enjoyed the honesty of this piece. It's simple at first glance, and accessible ...

1. The behavior of the doctors and was noticeably theatrical, and unrealistic. No doctor--certainly no doctor treating something as serious as amnesia--would be so lighthearted about waking a patient.

Your voice certainly made this an enjoyable read, even if there wasn't any discernible or logical plot. I can't decide whether this should be labelled as a postmodernist experiment or ...

This was done well. The repetition of destructive imagery works well to tune this piece to the angrily regretful ambience I think you were shooting for. Your symbolism was effective, ...

It wasn't sad. It was disturbing, maybe, macabre, but there was no context or basis for sentimentality and whatever plot exists here is masked by the gore. My guess is ...

Everything from Oh, it’s a technical problem, down, I love. The first half isn't particularly cohesive or convincing, probing before realizing specifically what it's attempting to say, what you are ...

A few suggestions: 1. Don't write in second person, or at least not in the way you've done it here. Much of this piece reads less like poetry and more ...

While I enjoy the inventiveness of your premise, I feel that a bit more cohesiveness and concision would do this piece good. It lacks a single, unifying theme. Consider you ...

As a loyal student of Kafka, I found the bizarreness of this piece amusing, if not especially moving. The characteristic disturbingly honest symbolism, at least, evidences Kafka, though the style ...

I ask a sinner what worship tastes like and they said, "acceptance" Other than the odd tense incongruity between "ask" and "said," there's nothing much to complain about here. It's ...

It's like a scene straight out of a Disney children's movie, isn't it? Designed for an audience with zero deductive ability, reduced and simplified and chipped at until no further ...

Well, it's a sex-driven world. There's no way to get around that. One thing you could do with this piece is expand it and go into greater detail. Both for ...

Great opening chapter. Your diction is engaging and your pace is well-measured. I have a few comments. First, the transition from the opening seasonal description to that of the training ...