Published April 24, 2013
Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
There I posted it for you.
Now, this peace is a mess. I'm sorry but it is. I have no idea where to start.
NOOOO this was plagiarized! How dare you!
It is? How do you know?
It says plagiarized in parentheses and says read original poem here with a link. Also the poem doesn't appear on the screen.
Everything from
down, I love. The first half isn't particularly cohesive or convincing, probing before realizing specifically what it's attempting to say, what you are attempting to say. It resorts to lines like
, transparently meaningless and evitable, and does very little to serve this piece past providing a context for what follows.
Your second half was charming and possessed all of the great qualities its predecessor lacked--strong metaphor, immersive voice, and an explorative meter. Moreover, it's confident. If you could translate this into the entirety of this piece in a future revision, I'd love to take a look.
-Kafka