KJ

I really liked this. You have good detail and character development. The only thing I have to say that's negative--and this may be just me--but I thought you had a ...

Hey. I liked this. But like Loose, I had a problem with that chunk of words before the chapter began. I think you should just cut it entirely. Otherwise, it ...

Need spacing and commas. And I would recommend that you at least take the time to correctly spell and capitalize your title--you might get more reviews that way. Don't have ...

This probably belongs in the Narrative Poetry section. It was interesting. It seemed realistic, which I liked.

Need spacing. Really, really, need spacing. I also think that you should just cut that entire chunk of paragraph before the story begins. It's a good idea, it just needs ...

Kind of confusing. But I liked your dialogue.

I thought it confusing and I really had no idea what was going on.

This was really good. The flow was awesome, and the language you used was deep and pretty. It almost sounds like a poem.

Overall, this was captivating. It wasn't especially great, but it did have an interesting quality to it. I liked your descriptions. Needs spacing. I guess I have nothing else to ...

This was pretty good. I'm running out of time so I can't fully express my opinion but I wanted to post something here. Well-written and interesting.

Really liked it. Found nothing to point out, I guess. (I was reading really quick--I'm short of time). Keep writing.

Liked the descriptions. However, a bit too much telling rather than showing right in the beginning. Otherwise I really liked it. The setting was cool, and the plot (what we've ...

Pretty good. Spacing would be good so it's easier on the eyes.

I liked the part with the twins. It was funny. As to the rest, it wasn't bad. Write on.

Much better. Good job editing.