KJ

Hey. I read the piece above, and I didn't see any nitpicks - just one thing. Or maybe a few. First, you're telling. Majorly. You know what that means, don't ...

Hey girly. I'm glad you decided to post this on YWS. I read the whole thing, and I only found one nitpick that really bothered me. And, really, is it ...

Well, I didn't spot anything wrong with this that Ash didn't catch. But I did want to point out a couple things: Telling and punctuation. The piece mainly consisted of ...

Hello Moonlight. Honestly, I'm not in the mood for nitpicks, but I did read through the piece and there were a few things I wanted to say about it. One, ...

I started this, but, honestly, there were too many punctuation errors and too much awkward wording. It got to me. So I'll just point out a few places where you ...

I owe you for all the reviews you've done for me, and this is also just a small thanks for your time. You're a great friend to have here on ...

NITPICKS: The cooling wind swings briefly [Wind doesn't really swing, in my mind. More like flows, flies, blows, you know? Reword] in the humid, July air. As a spotless, [Odd ...

Honestly, it just has too much of a history-lesson feeling to me. It's all telling. There's no dialogue, no setting. Sure, there's plot and characters. But nothing about them calls ...

Hello, MAri0O07. Whew, this is messy. I don't normally do this, but I just wanted to make a suggestion in hopes that you'll get more reviews: Capitalize. It looks sloppy ...

NITPICKS: I peered out slowly [I'm being really nitpicky here, I'll admit, but I don't like the use of the word slowly . A hook is crucial for a piece, ...

Just a couple observations I wanted to give you. Or maybe a few. Guess we'll see. One, you say your MC's name too much. We know who is is now, ...

NITPICKS: “Because you find my face weird?” she asked. “No, not at all. Or at least I don't think so.” “Well that’s one I’ve never been. Why don’t you sit ...

NITPICKS: Hannie and I lag behind, walking in an awkward silence. Hannie is my best friend besides Brinn and I hate arguing with her. We don’t argue much, but when ...

NITPICKS: I can't explain how time can be so...fragile and fast. Two things. One, there should be a space after the ellipsis. And two, I hate the use of the ...

I haven’t seen her In days. I see her shadow. I see her eyes, Empty, Broken. But she is gone. Pro tem. It may be just me - I don't ...