KJ

I don't want to be mean, but there was nothing at all captivating or even interesting about this. Boy likes girl. Girl like boy. Boy asks girl to movie. Girl ...

I really liked this. You have a great flow and use lovely language to express/show what is happening. I wouldn't call it a description. I didn't see much to go ...

I'll get to the punch: You have many spelling errors, and I don't think you should use capital letters when emphasizing. For a beginning this has far too much narrative. ...

This was way better than the first chapter - I really enjoyed this. Your dialogue is realistic. Only things that caught my notice was that Father Brian said "my dear" ...

Hey. I give you points for creativity - it's also thought provoking. You kept me reading, so good job on that. Everyone else has covered grammar and everything else, so ...

Hey. Now, I don't know if this is just the mood I'm in, so don't take this too seriously, but I just couldn't get into it. I thought it kind ...

Hey. I don't have much to say - I didn't notice any typos. My overall impression: it wasn't bad. As a beginning, I think you could have a much stronger ...

About your poll... do you mean would we rather have a vampire be killing the child? How can it be both? And if I had to choose, I guess werewolf, ...

Hey. There were three major problems I had with this. One, your punctuation. Needs much work. You end things like this: "Hello." She said. When it should be: "Hello," she ...

Ash, my corrections/opinions are in bold. I may sound brisk or critical, but I'm just in a hurry, so don't take it personal. Hope this helps. And by the way, ...

I don't have much time, but I just wanted to tell you that, regardless of it's rather short length, I liked it. Only thing I didn't like was the "BAM ...

I found this interesting. What I liked most was the emotion emanating from it. I give you points for originality. However - and this can be both a good and ...

You should be proud of it. I really liked it. There were only two things I did not like and felt took away from the piece: The rest seemed like ...

Those letters were not something a child around this age-range would see, or even understand. You're writing this diary with someone much older in mind, I think. This addition was ...

Hi. Again, feels like someone older than a small child writing this. Aside form the vocabulary and the actual writing, the writer has an understanding of worldly circumstance that a ...