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Re: Chapter 12: Footprint
damn, you’re 14? i started when i was 15. you’ve already got a massive lead on me and many other writers out there. keep this up and i’m certain you’ll ...
Nov 22, 2019 -
Re: waffle house
sup, mavis. two years ago you asked me for a review buuuuuut i never got to doing it and im here now. i think ive reviewed one of your thingos ...
Mar 6, 2019 -
Re: Untitled (Zombie Apocalypse Romance Short)
hey dracula, you requested a review from me ages ago but i never got to it so im here now. you have major issues with realism, and the story’s a ...
Feb 27, 2019 -
Re: Luminous: Cicadas (Chap 1)
hello aly, you asked for a review from me, um… two years ago, but i never got to it. so i’m here now. overall, this piece seems decent. the characters ...
Feb 26, 2019 -
Re: The Running Man Introduction and Chapter 1
>My name is Dennis Wayne Hope, I an not proud of what I have done, my past actions affected the lives on many innocent people. would be a lot punchier ...
Apr 15, 2018 -
Re: Chapter 2
dun dun dunn it's a review >I’ll never forget the day I met my lifelong friend, Millie. In fact, I doubt Collier county’s school system will forget the day I ...
Apr 3, 2018 -
Re: Seltas's first kill
righto, let's see what we got here. - The Beginning >“Seltas calm down,” Edgar demanded. should have a comma after "Seltas" telling someone to calm down is usually said, well... ...
Jan 24, 2018 -
Re: Keep Driving
27! geez, that's hardly young, but i guess it's a matter of perspective. >I'd be particularly interested in your impressions of the overall tone of the piece, as well as ...
Oct 6, 2017 -
Re: The Adventures of Atticus (Chapter 1)
oooh boy. from a cursory glance i'm gonna guess you were inspired by lemony snicket. let's dive in. >A series of events has for whatever reason brought you to this ...
Oct 4, 2017 -
Re: OLD CHAPT 1
>Her dark brown eyes blinked in confusion before realization ushered in. "ushered in" doesn't work here. when you usher in something, you, like, direct it to its seat. >It was ...
Jan 10, 2017 -
Re: Axylia [Chapter 01]
>Axylia Karmodie’s ears were ringing in panic. axylia seems like a garbled version of "alexia" and "karmodie" is just "carmody" spelt weirdly... "axylia" is alright, i guess, but "karmodie" is ...
Jan 3, 2017 -
Re: Sally - Chapter One of Shattered Crowns
alright you asked for it buddy >Sally Helms continued to stir, restless from what she had hoped to be calm hours of sleep. In spite of her restless night, already ...
Jan 1, 2017 -
Re: Bus Trip (Edited)
>Becca raised her index and middle finger to her eyes, then flicked them towards her friend. saluted. saluted's the word you're looking for. >“Not if I see you first!” She ...
Dec 29, 2016 -
Re: ARK: Survival Evolved, Chapter 1
i've never played ARK, so you get the perspective of an average reader here. >Waves lapped boldly at my feet, each time daring to inch a bit further, then retreating ...
Dec 29, 2016 -
Re: Follow The Stars (Edited)
ooh, this looks decent at a glance. you get the special nitpicky treatment! let's see... >“Okay.” Elizabeth nodded and watched, you got liz saying "okay" and nodding. that would make ...
Dec 22, 2016
