Justagirl

Aaaw, this is kind of sweet! I didn't see any problems and the whole actually made lots of sense, so congrats. I also love how you developed Draco. He's (one ...

Great job! I only wonder what the prologue had to do with the first chapter. The only thing that was the same was a cat's name (I'm assuming it was ...

The sun was shining, the air was clear of pollution, the water was a bit murky and suspicious looking , but that was nothing unusual, besides which, the Grail would ...

White- E ar reviewed the patrol and flicked his tail with approval. ^That's the only problem I found in it :) This is really good, but it's way to short. ...

A strong wind blows back my longish hair from my face. Oh noes! You used the horrible word 'longish'! But, no worries, you can fix it. ;) The y say ...

"Soot, you take the forest , t hat's what you're used to." After a (I took out the word 'little' that was here) while of un successful hunting, Soot heard ...

"Why did you call me here?" She called out. Smallbreeze froze, her hackles standing on end with the chill of his voice. Do hackles really 'stand on end'?? Very, very ...

He made his mess, the trees seize to nest The lonely, peaceful dove. This doesn't quite make sense... Ok, this is a really cool poem but it has a couple ...

-Don't ever fall in love with someone who is more than one thousand miles away from you. I t usually doesn't work. -If it hurts, d on't do it again! ...

Interesting poem. I can feel the emotion in it but the flow is interrupted in so many places. Try and find any place that has a word that could be ...

Wow. This is a very interesting piece. I think it's one of the fullest short stories that I've read on here. So, congrats to that. This is actually a really ...

Aaaw, this is sweet. To make it even better you could: Fix all grammatical, spelling, and capitalization errors and Put in some imagery. That's all though! Otherwise, good job. I ...

So, so true. If you arranged this a little differently.... Relationships are like cars, the brakes will stop you but the w h eels will get you going and keep ...

Wow, this is really great. I think with some tweaking you could turn this into some excellent poetry or post it in the short story section. Your imagery is wonderful ...

Lol, this is a funny joke - nice job with it. But, like Ninja has done, you need to put it in correct grammar - ok? So, she's already shown ...