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Re: MY DEAR FRIENDS
This is a very heartwarming piece! You should go through it, however, and capitalize all the "I"'s and look for other spelling, capitalization, or grammar mistakes, as there are quite ...
Dec 3, 2012 -
Re: Please Come See Me
Picked you like raisins, This is a bit of a weird line... You like my humour. I like yours as well. This is a bit off-topic when you were just ...
Jun 4, 2012 -
Re: Crash Landing
Friends were all we were, You used 'friends' twice, making it a bit repetitive in this line. Other than what I just pointed out, I loved this! Your flow was ...
Mar 17, 2012 -
Re: Prologue of The Five
It all happened on that – that cursed day; the day nations finally revealed it’s true colors. This should be either 'It all happened on that – that cursed day; ...
Mar 9, 2012 -
Re: Fates
Ok, well. Nice first poem, I'd say. I'm not gong to go through and point out every little thing I find wrong with it, unless you want me to. In ...
Feb 27, 2012 -
Re: Sailed This Ship
This is a great poem, James :D I think that it could be a bit better with some imagery in it, though, and definitely more punctuation. A poem is not ...
Feb 5, 2012 -
Re: Unfading - Chapter 1
The boy, Jake, had a set of tiny, well placed bite marks marring his neck. So, they're vampires or something of the sort, right? Well then, bite marks seems ungraceful ...
Jan 31, 2012 -
Re: Softness of Doves, Chapter 11
Along the way, glimmers of civilisation flashed before our eyes; lonesome, decrepit houses, isolated farms, where we knocked and received no answer, scrawny chickens and bony cows wandering about mean
Jan 7, 2012 -
Re: Fear
You can't escape it, but you can overcome it. Well, if you overcome oxygen, you might just die. Actually, you'll just pass out and then your body will immediately/automatically start ...
Jan 5, 2012 -
Re: Danny
Hi there, Rose! I think this is a really nice poem, but you need a bit of work on it. You were really quite wordy in it (which is ok, ...
Jan 5, 2012 -
Re: Stupid Idea
that I have a problem - I think it is (I wasn't exactly sure what you were trying to say in this line, but it the correct wording could be ...
Jan 5, 2012 -
Re: The Buzzing Insect
' Oh no! ' Git said ' I must move with haste ' He bit the Russians , Them stupid communists , And bit the Americans , Those white trash ...
Jan 5, 2012 -
Re: Organ Donor
Hi there! I know you already seem to have a ton of reviews but when I read this, I felt the need to give feedback (don't worry, it's not a ...
Jan 5, 2012 -
Re: Shedding
as its scent ' s This was a very powerful poem, as far as you can go with power in relation to anorexia. I really liked reading it although it ...
Jan 5, 2012 -
Re: Snow
The clouds fall from the sky I feel there should be some sort of punctuation here, don't you? i n pieces, soft and white covering the ground i n a ...
Jan 5, 2012
