Hi, everyone. This is my first poem, and it was a prompt actually (Something MorningMist, Murtuza and I are involved in). Let me know what you think! I tried to include rhyme (Not all poetry rhymes, I know), so I think it might sound forced in places.
Thanks! I'm very open to any suggestions.
(also, the stanza towards the end with the normal text and italic text is from the POV of the dude who was in Hell).
I walk through corridors,
Patterns, messages, etched into doors,
Unhappy. Unaffected. Yearning.
Flames lick, dance, cackle,
Sneer and smirk at my sins.
And all I yearn is to be with you.
Boiling water, scalding my tongue,
No comfort from the heat.
Thorny plants, mashed like gruel,
My stomach echoes with hunger; the lack of food to eat.
Aching. Wanting. Wishing.
With these patterns, shapes,
that I chisel into the pillars,
I send a message of my ache,
my want, my desire to be with you.
We are stuck with our fates.
With these words I laboriously carve into the wall,
With these words I write with the ashes,
With the yearning in my heart,
With the yearning in my body, more than the yearning of cold,
I give my resignation; speak of the words that I wish to leave this hall.
I wish … I cannot. My heart smashes,
But I know that my fate is sealed.
at the acceptance of my fate.
I wish it was possible to change the deeds of the past.
I must face the consequences of what I have done.
Points: 600
Reviews: 14
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