Jon

Listen and hear the earth breathe, its heartbeat along with yours. 'It's' needs an apostrophe, Earth should be capitalized, and the second line doesn't flow with the first one. And ...

Ok Swottie and Digital, I am here! :D Alone. It was a word that was slowly beginning to feel like a straightforward definition of his life; Um, take out 'straightforward', ...

Hey Eimear, I liked this piece, however there were some rough spots. Thud, thud, thud. Perhaps I am light-headed, I know that It is perfectly OK to say 'I am' ...

A Leap through Time Coffee-tinted patches splay across the horse's milky body. Snowy strands weave between the black threads of its mane. A glassy eye glares as you dare enter ...

Well since this is already published there are no grammar mistakes, but however this chapter seems really rushed it sounds like this: I went to the park. I ate a ...

I'm here as requested You need not take their ugly whispers. I like these first two stanzas, but t make it sound better maybe you shold say " Do not ...

Aaron Hunter was dying. Everything had happened so fast. One moment, the slender 19-year-old had been crossing the street, in accordance with the blinking "walk" signal, and the next he ...

Andrew Baxter is used to ‘whodunits’. They’re simple to discover, and even simpler to solve. First: the victim. Find out why, how, when and who. when you say "first" and ...

here as requested, anyway i will go paragraph by paragraph and crit it then i will go over characters and the overall peice, and don't worry i will be as ...

Late morning, I logged into MSN, conversation pops up. --- MAYBE YOU COULD SAY "IT WAS LATE MORNING WHEN I WAS ON MSN WHEN A CONVERSATION POPPED UP" I THINK ...

I'm here as requested and since i can't really go over the mistakes because everyone else got to them i will just go over the whole piece and tell you ...

I probably just had the world’s most interesting and most horrible conversation. Normally when people [s]phone[/s]---- I THINK YOU SHOULD USE CALL, BUT THEN AGAIN I'M IN THE U.S. you ...

When you walk through the door my world seems wonderful. When I have a bad day your beauty--- this stops the flow of things makes my heart flutter like there ...

awh, it's sad, why did the little baby have to die? anyway this is a very good poem and i gave it a gold star, this was absolutly amazing and ...

i liked this poem but it was really all too sudden i think to make it better you should add a little more to it. i have a question why ...