JohnLocke1

Very interesting short story. It was kind of dark, which I loved. Even though it was very short, you did a good job of characterization. Your word choices were very ...

Oh my gosh, I love this girl. I don't know what you're doing with this character, but I am absolutely in love with her. On that point, SLOW DOWN!!! I ...

First off, I saw some frequent grammatical errors. I would go back and look over your writing word for word so you can pick out the tiny little things. Second, ...

First things first, you need to slow this down. I felt like the pace was way too fast. You placed a lot of important information in a very small story. ...

I don't really focus on grammar and punctuation in my reviews unless I'm specifically asked to, so I'm just going to focus on the story itself. You have a lot ...

I love your descriptive voice. I'm so interested in everything this young woman has to say. I could see the country side and the images that she wanted me to ...

This was a very nice beginning. You have really drawn me in with your descriptive writing and thrilling sequence of events. The only criticism I have about this prologue is ...

This was a very nice start. The characters are developing at the correct pace that they should for any novel. I could already tell the differences between them by the ...

Very interesting concept that you have going on here. This figure that menacingly and unnoticeable follows this character around and almost forces him to do his will. It's both scary ...

You need to check out that first sequence of events in your story. It was really hectic and a lot happened. It needed to be much slower. "I had 30 ...

Very nice beginning! I really want to know where you are going to go from here. Your words were very descriptive and expressive. I was drawn in and I wanted ...

This is a very thrilling and face pasted story you've written. But if something is too fast paced, you are going to bore the reader because everything will be of ...

First, let me preface this review by telling you that I enjoy dystopia novels immensely. They are one of my favorite genre of books and I was so happy when ...

Impressive story. The writing I see is bold, dramatic and descriptive. But be careful not to overload the reader with so much information that they no longer see any action. ...

I must confess that I do not enjoy poetry. I have never found myself attracted to it in any way. However, this one is not one of those "complain about ...