Jerikas

This is good but you add a little too much desciption into some sentences. The one that springs to mind is when you are describing the person serving the the ...

I like this but the layout is a bit strange, not sure if its better or worse than the normal layout. Only thing i noticed was that you put all ...

This shows potential but there are several things I noticed. Firstly, every time a character says anything it needs a new line and if you are going to write 'he ...

This is good but your description of the setting is a bit poor. Even though it is dark you can say things like how big the room is or its ...

What relationship is there between the character in 1st person and the other charater? Is it a parent, boy/girlfrind or sibling or someone ele? You suggest most of these in ...

I really like this piece even though a few things confused me a bit. What actually happened at the end? Either I'm being blonde or your being a bit vague. ...

The book is alright. It has a good plot but it's so long I just got bored of it. It's the same with both the others. Bartimaeus (spelling?) is a ...

I liked this piece but the title confused me - it wasn't what I expected.What has a shepard got to do with the story? You also need to link the ...

This is good but lacks description. I noticed that in the last paragraph the character dropped his sword then decapitated someone - not sure how this is physically possible. What ...

Eldest was not the greatest book I have ever read. I got bored several times and had to stop and read something else. The main cause for this is probably ...

I had to read Of Mice and Men for my GCSE English in year 11 and I really liked it. I saw the film beforehand though and some of the ...

Its really hard hitting. I like the way you keep the pattern the same, I think it adds effect and makes it easy to read so you consentrate on the ...

I think this is a really good piece of writing and I really like the style you use. Only a few things I did notice, which are all easily changable ...