Jennafina

Its a little hard to read because of the bright yellow font on a white and purple page, but I like the idea of posting it in handwriteing, it makes ...

Its nice...For a report. I think it should be in non fic, instead of si fi, though.

I like this!! its really funny, I cant wait to see the next instalment! I dont get why its R though. Maybe Ill find out later.

That made me laugh. I love the long, rambleing random sentances. And the ongoing joke about the *s.

I completely agree with riababy about religion.. :P I liked how it was so drifty too. The poem that is, not the religion..

:p Suposedly the romans said that mars was the god of war of somthing.. I dont know where I learned that though so it might be just one of those ...

Wow, I really really like this! Id like to print it and hang it on my wall. I love how in only a few lines you gave each of the ...

Mars is bright replaced with futile flight.. Better?

I just edited. I did my best to replace any punctuation errors.. Tell me if theres a big obvious one I missed...

Im going to do another edit...

Your story was short, rense, gripping and very confuseing. It sounds a little bit like he end of a story, more than the whole thing. Perhaps you could make a ...

Your story really pulled me in from the start. I really liked the atmosphere, it was fast paced, and tence, and kept me reading. Is there going to be more ...

Oh, hello again, pricelesslove! Thanks!

Thanks, Im stilll new at this writeing buisness.. :p I changed a few things, and used your sugestion about the repitition.

I love this! Easy to memorize, but thats good, right? Its awesome how you can capture a whole emotion in just a few lines. Poems don't have to be long ...