Jennafina

Girl_in_pink, please calm down. Check your PM box. :) Let's keep this on topic, 'kay?

Thanks, Mad and Alainna! ^_^ The longer lines don't symbolize anything. I just ended each line where I thought it sounded best. I'll try to shorten them if it's distracting. ...

Moved to Other Poetry. :D -Jenna

Can you copy and paste it here? People will be more likely to read it if they don't have to download anything. Welcome to YWS, by the way. :)

Hello again! By double space your dialogue and paragraphs, I meant like this: Cassandra trudged down the stairs, just waking up. Liana was already up and about, though still in ...

This looks like poetry to me! Why's it in Other? If it's Other Poetry, there's a section for that.

“Jonathon.” Kyle said. There should be a comma instead of a period after Jonathon. No other complaints, though. This part was especially good. -Jenna

Heh, I'm dense. 0_0 Because this is in fantasy fiction, I automatically assumed it was real! That pretty much invalidates half my comments, lol.

I like your two opening lines, they make me want to read your story. But I can't, because it's not here! Maybe you should wait until you have a little ...

Thanks a lot for the critiques. :) I've tried to add more detail in this version, but I don't want to overpower my dialogue or have it turn into a ...

RELIC The creaking reminded her of her dear husband, recently deceased. It would be funny if you said it reminded her of his bones. Hah, sorry. :D She had completed ...

Thanks Jiggy and Snoink! :) Glad you could tell the difference between my characters. That's what I was hoping for. About the He thing, I can't find where I did ...

(if u saw someone murder your parents, what would be your reaction?) Um... Probably a strangled cry of greif/rage. If I was articulate enough to formulate a response with words, ...

Thank you! :)

Done! The thing you saw was my old version. It's been replaced with the new one, now. Thanks, Jig!