You walked out of the door,
Taking away everything from me,
I don’t know why I’m still alive,
Because I only lived for you,
And my every breath was for you,
And my every heartbeat was for you.
At nights I can’t even sleep,
Because my cushion is too wet,
Tears just can’t stop flowing,
And I’ve forgotten how to smile,
Things have become so difficult,
It’s just not the same anymore.
You were the only one in my life,
But now you’ve left me too,
Whose shoulder should I cry on?
Now that I’m all alone,
Who will try to make me smile?
Now that I’m all alone...
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Moved to Other Poetry.
-Jenna
You need to get this moved to poetry. Mods? Mods? Little moving needed here!
-ST
um... is this a poem or prose? cause... you might wanna check where you put it again...
Ok, i liked this, but one line annoyed me just ever so slightly and that was:
Because my cushion is too wet,
When i first read it, i was like...whhhat? I mean it made sense with the rest of it, but cushion? Myabe Pillow or something would work better here? Its just cushion makes me think of the thing you sit on, not what you sleep on?
Anyway, other than that, it was good, with a bit of editing here and there it will be a lovely, but sad poem
Best of luck!
Meevs
x